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Perfectionism always sounded like a positive word to me.
After all, what could be better than being perfect?
I cannot think of any situation where something could be beyond perfect. Yet in reality, perfectionism is a real problem because it stops people from sharing with the world the more imperfect (but still amazing!) things they create.
Are you stuck on perfectionism? It’s time to let go. In this article you’ll learn the benefits of embracing imperfection and how doing so will give you a beautiful sense of freedom.
Let Go and Reap the Benefits
Almost all the wonderful inventions that we celebrate today began in a less than perfect way.
The first iPhone, the first Space X rocket, and the first electric car were all put out in a less than perfect state. Yet, people still loved them. People still bought or invested in them. As each iteration of these products came out, they got better, so much so that if you compare the latest iPhone X to the first generation iPhone you would immediately declare the first iPhone to be nowhere near perfect.
The thing about the first iPhone, the first Space X rocket and the first electric car is they were a work in progress.
Sure they were not perfect, but on the whole, they worked and people enjoyed them immensely. Once they were out there in the market, the feedback came in and that helped to improve the products. Imagine if Space X’s Falcon 1 had not launched; would we have seen the impressive Falcon Heavy launch?
The lessons learned from the first Space X launch led to improvements in the next launch. And now, in 2018 we have a Tesla Roadster orbiting our sun. If the engineers at SpaceX were worried about being perfect, none of this would have happened. They would still be working on the Falcon 1 rocket.
And, that’s the problem with perfectionism: it stops you from accomplishing many things that you have the ability to achieve. It prevents you from sharing with the world your ideas, your work and your craft, so you never benefit from the feedback necessary to get better; this means the world will not benefit from the amazing things you are capable of doing.
Outlined below are five tips you can use to help get away from your perfectionism so the world can benefit from the work you do.
All Great Things Began Imperfect
Most likely, our first attempts at anything will not be perfect.
It takes time to develop the necessary know-how and skills to achieve perfection–and even then, it could probably be improved upon. That should not stop you, rather this idea should encourage you. At every turn, at every attempt, you will get better. The goal is not to have a perfect version.
The goal is to create something that works, something that resonates with people, and something that will get better with time and patience and continuous effort to improve it.
Don’t Fret Feedback
Too often people hold back their ideas and opinions because they think their idea or opinion is stupid.
No idea or opinion is stupid.
All great ideas started somewhere. The best ideas were put out into the open so that other people could provide feedback and criticize them. That is precisely how great ideas start–through feedback, the ideas evolved and got better. Holding back your idea or product until you have perfected it only guarantees it will never be perfect.
You need the feedback to make it better. Even if you find that your idea is perfect, another person’s insight may give you a new perspective on ways to improve. Or that criticism may be just what you need to motivate you! Ted Turner, the founder of CNN, said that when he told people of his idea for starting CNN, everyone laughed at him. When that happened, he knew he was on to a good idea.
Perfectionism is Really Just Fear
The truth behind perfectionism is that it is a form of fear.
This fear is most likely of criticism or dislike of your idea. The worst thing you can imagine is that your idea will be a total flop and that you will fail.
The good thing about fear is that it is a mental state, not a physical one. Any fear, especially irrational fears about perfection, can be changed and overcome by analyzing why you are fearful in the first place and recognizing the worst case scenario of putting a “less than perfect” idea out there.
Once you realize that the worst thing that could happen is someone will criticize your work, then you will understand that really that is nothing to be afraid of–in fact, criticism is a fantastic tool to help your idea get better! This is where you learn what others think can be improved on, so that your idea will appeal to a wider audience and gain more traction with others.
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How Perfectionism Can Hold You Back
When you’re trying to get ahead, the drive for perfection can be your worst enemy. The person who never makes a mistake always ends up taking orders from one who does. Here’s why.
Are you a perfectionist? For many people it’s a point of pride–but it may be keeping you from reaching your highest potential.
If you constantly do everything perfectly and perform everything flawlessly, you may think you’re being effective and efficient. But sometimes it’s the imperfect performances that demonstrate your greatest potential.
Here are eight ways that perfectionism may be holding you back:
1. When you’re perfect, you don’t take risks.
Being an entrepreneur is risky; being an industry leader brings uncertainty. Being perfect may make you feel bulletproof, but it’s really keeping you stuck within the status quo. Risks are a necessary part of growing and improving.
2. When you’re perfect, you insist on going by the book.
Being a leader and taking initiative is part of being a visionary. Following established procedures is orderly, but it doesn’t give you or your ideas room to stretch. You don’t have to give up your careful nature entirely–with just a little bit of creativity and innovation, the standard approach can still lead you to something new.
3. When you’re perfect, you’re not developing.
Perfectionism often stems from the belief that you can avoid pain by living and doing everything exactly right, but it’s only a temporary shield at best. The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and freeing yourself to begin the work of developing yourself.
4. When you are perfect, you can’t push the envelope.
The path to perfection is doing the same thing the same way again and again. But when you intentionally put yourself in uncomfortable situations, you engage in conscious reinvention. The rewards? Creativity and innovation.
5. When you’re perfect, you aren’t open to new ideas.
For business to be successful, for leadership to be visionary, you must learn some new techniques that will spark creativity and force you to think differently. But when you are stuck in perfect, that process can’t even get started.
6. When you’re perfect, you cannot adapt to new situations.
In today’s environment of complex challenges and rapid change, adaptive problem solving is a crucial ability. Adaptability is not just a “nice to have” competency but an important competitive advantage. The addictive nature of perfectionism keeps us from adapting to new situations that can help us evolve.
7. When you’re perfect, you’re thrown by unexpected demands.
It’s hard enough for any business leader, manager, or entrepreneur to keep up with the unpredictable demands that are part of doing business. But to a perfectionist, the unexpected can be catastrophic.
8. When you’re perfect, you can’t adopt new strategies.
If you can’t adopt new strategies, you can’t be successful.
Perfectionism is self-destructive for one very simple reason: There is no such thing as perfect.
You need to know what perfectionism may be costing you so you can make the most profitable investment of your best potential. Then cut yourself loose from any thinking that prevents you from taking risks, showing initiative, learning, developing, and growing.
Don’t let your perfectionism prevent you from unlocking your full potential.
I grew up believing that constantly striving for perfection was some sort of badge of honor or a quirk to joke about. However, over the course of my life, I’ve been conflicted about this part of my personality which seemed to cause me as much harm as it did good (if not more so). While it has made me push my limits relentlessly to achieve the things that I set my mind to, it has also caused me a lot of inner turmoil.
Perfectionists tend to be seen as people with an inflated self-esteem and self-confidence, but the truth is, that while they may be driven, high achievers, the behavior doesn’t come from a place of arrogance or overconfidence, it usually comes from a place of fear.
What is Perfectionism and Where Does it Come From?
Perfectionism is the need to constantly strive for flawlessness and setting overly high standards for yourself, followed by very critical self evaluations. This is not to be mistaken with simply trying to be the best you can be.
Brené Brown (writer & research prof. at the University of Houston) says, “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfection is not about healthy achievement and growth.” She explains how striving to be your best implies the understanding that failure is possible and normal (even when giving it your best shot). Whereas perfectionism is unforgiving of failure. It’s often used as a defense mechanism against failure, vulnerability, judgement and shame.
This is an important difference, as it helps unblur the lines between healthy motivational behavior and toxic self-deprecating behavior.
The cause of perfectionism varies from person to person. The main causes tend to be childhood or life experiences, traumas, and mental health issues (ex. O.C.D, Depression, anxiety, low self esteem). It’s rooted in the fear of failure, the fear of being vulnerable and the fear of judgement.
Examples of Perfectionism:
· Constantly comparing yourself to others unfavorably, preventing you from being happy for their success.
· Spending an overabundant amount of time doing something that should normally be very quick to do.
· Avoid trying something new (even for fun), out of fear that you won’t be great at it & that you will be seen negatively.
While being a perfectionist involves a lot of self-motivation and drives you to put your best effort into the things you do, it also has many pitfalls.
In my case, it caused me to constantly second guess myself and my abilities when the impossibly high standards I set for myself weren’t met. In the past it manifested itself as body image issues, extreme shyness, or hesitance to do certain things because I wasn’t sure I could achieve 100% at them.
The most common pitfalls are the effects it has on your self-esteem and your progress.
Perfectionism ultimately causes you to become your own worst enemy. It crushes your self esteem and the two play off each other in a vicious cycle. By measuring success on flawlessness, you end up getting so caught up in what you’re lacking that you lose focus of what you’re good at.
You begin to define who you are by your achievements and forget that they do not constitute you and your value as a person.
It creates a constant feeling of never being good enough, due to holding yourself to impossible standards & assuming that others do too.
Seeing as perfection is impossible, this then leads to intense feelings of anxiety, stress, unworthiness, and general unhappiness.
What most of us don’t realize is that It can also cause severe, (& crafty!) procrastination and avoidance of tasks that you feel are outside of your comfort zone. You will find 1 million “valid” excuses not to do certain things or put them off. This impedes your progress, growth, and productivity as you end up limiting yourself.
If you’re ready to break out of the perfectionist mindset, there are many ways you can go about it. If you’re like me, you’re probably already thinking about how you can perfectly break all the perfectionist habits overnight (But resist the urge! Step one in changing this mindset). Let’s put that drive to good use !
Tips to help you stay driven without also being your own worst enemy:
· Stop comparing yourself to others.
· Put an end to negative self-talk through awareness.
· Practice self care (Taking time to recharge IS a productive use of time).
· Learn to say no & that there is nothing wrong with it.
· Set S.M.A.R.T. goals & expectations for yourself ( Specific, Measurable, Attainable/Achievable, REALISTIC, Time-based).
· Let go of the security blanket & allow yourself permission to fail.
· Accept failure as part of the learning process.
· Constantly challenge yourself to leave your comfort zone.
· Limit the time you spend with people who make you feel bad about yourself.
These new habits will help you improve your self-esteem which will in turn help you keep your perfectionism in check.
It will take time, It will be uncomfortable at first, and you will inevitable fail a few times in the process, but you will learn from it & I can tell you from experience with consistent practice, you will see results.
As a person who has been in a life-long battle with my own perfectionism, I can tell you that it’s an ongoing exercise of not allowing fear to dictate my actions (or at times lack thereof) at the gym, in my relationships, at work, even in my hobbies. I remind myself that failure is a natural (and essential!) part of growth and learning and that it is not a fatal flaw in myself, in my work nor is it something to be ashamed of.
I had to remind myself of that to gain the courage to publish my first articles, alongside so many talented writers, as I’m writing this one and sharing these vulnerabilities publicly, but I’ve decided to no longer let fear stop me from putting myself out there. One more small, satisfying victory in the battle with perfectionism!
Growth happens when you leave your comfort zone. Don’t let fear rob you of the opportunity to challenge yourself and progress in different ways. You’re worthy, you’re enough and having the courage to try (and fail!) is the true badge of honor!
