How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Sex can be romantic, fun, or even exciting, but sometimes it’s none of those things. Sometimes it’s just, well, boring. According to data in the Journal of Sex Research, 27 percent of women and 41 percent of men are sexually dissatisfied in their current relationship.

From lack of time to medical conditions, there are lots of valid reasons why the spark may be gone from the bedroom.

We’ll dive between the sheets to discuss the issues behind boring sex, how to discuss sexual dissatisfaction with your partner, and ways to spice up your sex life again.

Sexual tastes and needs vary, so what satisfies one person may not satisfy another. But different people who are no longer sexually satisfied in their relationships may be experiencing similar problems.

The business of life might mean you’re spending less time in the bedroom. Sex may feel more like a chore than a fun activity. Maybe you’ve been having the same type and style of sex for years. All these factors can make sex feel less exciting.

If you’re missing the spark between yourself and your partner, you’re not alone. For some people, the end of the honeymoon phase signals the end of exciting sex. But you can find ways to address the problem.

It can feel daunting to uncover the reasons your sex life has turned bland, but there are several possible causes of sexual dissatisfaction.

Common medical conditions can be at the root of a less-than-satisfying sex life. For example, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can cause sexual dysfunction in a variety of ways.

Someone with ADHD may be hypersexual and be increasingly focused on porn instead of on their partner. ADHD can also lead to hyposexuality, which can create a rift between partners who no longer have the same libido.

For people with vaginas, pain during sex isn’t entirely uncommon, and pain during vaginal penetration can lead to an avoidance of sex. People with penises may also experience pain during sex. When someone avoids sex, their partner may feel dissatisfied or unwanted.

Some mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety, can also manifest in the bedroom. One study found that intensified depression symptoms were associated with a decrease in sexual and relationship satisfaction.

Another study with more than 93,000 participants found that decreased sleep from insomnia led to decreased sexual function.

If you feel your sex life has become boring, the first and most important step is an open, honest discussion with your partner. Communication is an essential part of having good, fun sex.

It’s important to approach the conversation from a nonjudgmental point of view. If the changes in your sex life are due to a medical issue, showing your support can make a world of difference to your partner.

Here are some possible ways to start the conversation:

  • “I’ve noticed that things seem different between us in the bedroom lately. Is everything OK?”
  • “We haven’t been able to spend as much intimate time together as we used to. Do you mind if we talk about it?”
  • “I really miss the spark between us, and I’d love to get that back. Could we try a few new things in the bedroom?”

If you’re hurt by the changes in your sex life, it’s important to let your partner know. Expressing your feelings openly can give your partner a chance to make positive changes.

If you’re dissatisfied with your sex life, there are plenty of things you can do to bring excitement back into the bedroom.

Seek treatment for medical issues

If there’s a medical reason for the changes in your sex life, seeking treatment can improve your satisfaction. For example, one study found that cognitive behavioral therapy improved sexual function, depression, and anxiety symptoms in people with vaginismus.

Embrace communication about sex

Something as simple as a lack of communication can make the difference between good and bad sex. Many factors contribute to sexual satisfaction, and discussing your likes, dislikes, and passions can help your partner better satisfy you.

Make time for passionate sex

If you and your partner are having trouble finding time for sex, it may leave you feeling unsatisfied. It can also make sex feel like a chore, something you “have to do.”

Setting aside time to enjoy sex again can help you keep things exciting and satisfying.

Try role-playing in the bedroom

According to a 2017 study, roughly 22 percent of people have tried role-playing. With role-playing, you can create and act out exciting sex scenarios in a trusted environment.

If both you and your partner are open to trying it, role-playing can help improve sexual communication and passion in an otherwise boring bedroom.

Test the waters with sex toys

Sex toys can be a great addition to a healthy sex life. There are many types of sex toys on the market, and finding one that is stimulating to both partners can make good sex even better.

Explore your (and your partner’s) kinks

Kinky sex isn’t as taboo as it used to be. Plenty of couples engage in consensual kink exploration as an exciting addition to their sex lives.

Consent, boundaries, and communication are the most important considerations when you’re exploring kinks.

Talk to a mental health professional

A sex therapist can help you and your partner uncover and resolve issues and bring passion back into your sex life. Research has even shown that improving spiritual and emotional intelligence can help improve sexual satisfaction.

Maybe you’re mostly happy with your bedroom, but when you look around, the room still seems a little blah. You like your furniture and the color scheme works, but something is missing—personality. Even a well-decorated bedroom can have a case of the blahs if nothing in the décor points to your own personal style. Luckily, you can snap your bedroom right out of the doldrums with just one or two carefully chosen accents that show off the real you. Here are ten bedrooms to get your creativity pointed in the right direction—down the road toward a bedroom that is anything but boring.

Show Your Artistic Side

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Are your walls empty stretches of white? Although few people forget to hang artwork in the living room, its decorating impact is often overlooked when it comes to the bedroom. Go ahead and hang your favorite painting, print, poster, quilt, or collection of family photos on the wall over your headboard, or on whichever bedroom wall has the most open space. You’ll get an immediate dose of interest. Feeling ambitious? Combine multiple pieces to create a stunning gallery wall.

Highlight a Great Headboard

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

A great looking headboard turns even the most plain-Jane bedroom into something special. Just look at the example shown here—an attractive, but ho-hum neutral bedroom gets a huge style lift from the gorgeous upholstered headboard. In an otherwise neutral bedroom, a striking headboard can add just the touch of interest and contrast that’s needed.

One of the easiest ways to show off your creativity and personality in the bedroom with a repurposed or DIY headboard.

Add Metallic Elements

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

A little bit of bling adds excitement to your favorite outfit, and it’s no different in the bedroom. A few touches of shine, whether from glass, metallic surfaces, or reflective embellishments, such as the sequins on the throw pillow shown here, go a long way to dispelling the doldrums. Warm metallics, particularly gold, are riding especially high on the style charts right now, but if you prefer the cool tones of silver or chrome, go right ahead and add a touch to your bedroom. Take care, however, because a little bit of shine is a good thing but too much metal can be overwhelming.

Choose Colorful Throw Pillows

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Neutrals are soothing, but a bedroom without any contrast is boring. Not to fear— you can add a touch of color just by adding a few bright throw pillows to your bed. The dazzling beauties shown here are perfect for an Indian-inspired bedroom, but whatever your decorating style, you’ll find colorful throw pillows to match at HomeGoods, Target, or bed and bath shops. As a general rule, your bed will look best with three throw pillows that coordinate (they don’t have to match perfectly) in color, style or design.

January 19, 2017

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

13 Ways to Instantly Improve a Boring Bedroom

Is your bedroom a total snore? Granted, you should be tired in there, but you shouldn’t be tired of the decor. Get inspired with these style ideas. By Iris Benaroia

Go Black

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Go Black

Photo Credit: Jenna Peffley via jennapeffley.com Source: jennapeffley.com

. For more on how to get this look, visit

Go Black

. For more on how to get this look, visit

Photo Credit: Jenna Peffley via jennapeffley.com Source: jennapeffley.com

Add Flowers (Go Fake if You Must)

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Add Flowers (Go Fake if You Must)

Photo Credit: John Greim/LightRocket via Getty Images

Add Flowers (Go Fake if You Must)

Photo Credit: John Greim/LightRocket via Getty Images

Drape a Colourful Bedspread

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Drape a Colourful Bedspread

Photo by Katherine Frey/The Washington Post via Getty Images

Drape a Colourful Bedspread

Photo by Katherine Frey/The Washington Post via Getty Images

Put Up Unexpected Art

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Put Up Unexpected Art

Photo Benjamin C. Tankersley via Getty Images

Put Up Unexpected Art

Photo Benjamin C. Tankersley via Getty Images

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Also to know is, how can I make the most of my small bedroom?

12 Small Bedroom Ideas to Make the Most of Your Space

  1. Keep the Layout Simple. Max centered the bed in this space, leaving room to walk on either side.
  2. Don’t Be Afraid to Go Dark… thenordroom.
  3. But Bring In Plenty of Light.
  4. Choose Accents That Add Color.
  5. Ditch the Shrunken Nightstands.
  6. Create the Illusion of Space.
  7. Cut Out Clutter.
  8. It’s Possible to Go Big.

One may also ask, how do I make my bedroom aesthetic? Here are some ways to make your room aesthetically pleasing, and the place you’ll always want to escape to:

  1. Come up with a color scheme. Coming up with a color scheme is the first step.
  2. Warm lighting.
  3. Keep your bedding simple.
  4. Add a tapestry to spice up your walls.
  5. Candles.
  6. Keep it organized!

Herein, how do you spice up a boring room?

13 Ways to Instantly Improve a Boring Bedroom

  1. Go Black. 1/13. Go Black.
  2. Add Flowers (Go Fake if You Must) 2/13. Add Flowers (Go Fake if You Must)
  3. Drape a Colourful Bedspread. 3/13. Drape a Colourful Bedspread.
  4. Put Up Unexpected Art. 4/13. Put Up Unexpected Art.
  5. Get a Cool Bed. 5/13. Get a Cool Bed.
  6. Install a Creative Headboard. 6/13.
  7. Mount a Mural. 7/13.
  8. Create a Gallery Wall. 8/13.

Where should I put my bed in a small room?

Start by putting your bed in the center of the most visible wall. (It’s usually the wall facing the doorway.) Putting your bed in the center will give your small bedroom layout symmetry so you can make the most of your space. You’ll have enough space to jump under the covers from both sides.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

In This Article

All men want to be the best, may it be with their career, their relationship, and of course as a lover.

Sometimes there can be confusion about what can a man do to spice things up when it comes to pleasing your woman. But what can a man do to learn ‘ how to spice up the bedroom for her?’

As the old stereotype goes, men are lust-driven beasts, and there are things a man can do to spice up the bedroom, which even a sex-starved woman may not think of.

As every woman is different, you just can’t expect that with every relationship that you have, your partner would be amazed by how you spice up things in bed .

There can be instances where it might seem frustrating to see that your woman doesn’t get aroused easily or won’t reach orgasm when you have sex.

As a man, this is just unacceptable! So, what can we do to be better in bed? What are the sexy things a man can do to spice up the bedroom for his woman?

Challenges faced by men How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Before we get to know the things a man can do to spice up the bedroom, we’d want to know the real score in bed.

We all want to become the best lover for our partners, right?

However, there are things that we simply can’t control. Adulting is hard, and sex won’t even be the same as when we were in college. Those hot steamy nights have become quickies, and the slow burn foreplay has become a quick kiss.

We may think that only women have insecurities in bed? Think again. Men also have their own share of challenges in bed, and some of them are –

  • Reaching the finish line – quickly

Most men would agree that one of the biggest issues that we have when it comes to making our women satisfied is that we reach the finish line too quickly!

We want to keep up the pace and last longer – believe us, but we just can’t!

  • Don’t make her moan

Nothing is more frustrating than “not” seeing your woman moan.

Men definitely see and feel if our woman isn’t satisfied or is not being aroused. When a woman is aroused, her face says it all, and don’t forget about those moans.

Men would know if a woman isn’t really enjoying sex because it’s dry down there. Men would definitely feel it too.

  • No more thrill

You kiss and take your clothes off. That’s it, no more hiding so you won’t get caught. No more slow-burn foreplay – just the basic sex, which is definitely boring.

Men can sometimes feel that they are losing their touch!

Spice up your sex life

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

One of the first things a man can do to spice up the bedroom is to be the best version of yourself as a person and as a partner.

If you know how to respect your woman and be there to engage in good communication, chances are, both of you will be comfortable in sharing your needs and wants, especially with your sex life.

If you want your partner to know what you want in bed and you want her to open up with what she wants, then what would you expect?

Good sexual communication, honesty, respect, and appreciation will open doors to not just great sex life but an unforgettable one too!

Also watch:

Fun ideas to spice up the bedroom

Getting on the real deal here, we all want to know the things a man can do to spice up the bedroom the road to becoming the best in fulfilling your partner’s carnal fantasies is not that hard at all.

Just follow through some of the easiest ways to spice up sex and become better in bed.

1. Skip the Bed

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

The best things to try in the bedroom or the sexy ideas for the bedroom may not even happen in the bedroom!

Skip the bed and try sex in a different place! Try a midnight quickie on your garden or maybe do it in the kitchen when your partner least expects it!

2. Open your eyes

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

When we kiss or when we get really enjoying sex, we tend to close our eyes.

Try this simple thing to spice up sex life – open your eyes when you reach climax. Stare at each other, don’t close your eyes and see how amazing it feels!

Seeing the look on each other’s faces as you both reach climax is not just sexy but satisfying too.

3. See yourself

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Don’t be shy! Turn on the lights or put mirrors where you can actually see the action. It’s arousing, sexy, and wild at the same time!

4. Do role plays

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Wondering how to spice up the bedroom? You can start by e xploring each other’s fantasies by doing sexual role plays!

Start with easy roles and try different and challenging roles the next time. It’s a great way to fulfills each other’s carnal fantasies.

5. Play like Christian Grey

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

If you’ve always admired Christian Grey, then become him and try out sex toys and be unpredictable. If you want to be the best in bed – don’t be shy!

There can be many things a man can do to spice up the bedroom, and one of them is being unpredictable and fun!

6. Play some music

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Another sexy thing to do is to t ry out some sexy music on the background. Try out slow seductive music to hard sexy R&B. Your mood will depend on the music that you’ll choose. It adds spice to your sex life!

7. Shhh! Be quiet!

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

We all know that things a man can do to spice up the bedroom include making your woman moan, right? Skip the loud moans and try quiet sex! It’s fun and thrilling at the same time as you aren’t allowed to make any noise!

You’d be satisfied seeing how hard your partner contains herself from screaming your name!

There can be many things a man can do to spice up the bedroom, and you can even think of your own ways to make sex better, not just for you but for your woman as well.

You just have to let go of any insecurities, doubts, and worries and enjoy sex as it is!

Be fun and be hot so you and your partner can enjoy a hot sex life!

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Leigh-Anne Parrish

It can be hard thinking of ways to spice up your relationship. We’ve got 100 frisky ways you can freshen things up. Along with some innovative ways to escape the relationship rut, there are some time-honoured classics you may have forgotten to try.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Naughty calendar reminders

Set up alarm reminders in your partner’s phone that will pop up with saucy messages during their work day.

Play footsies

Out to dinner with friends or family? How about letting your feet do the wandering. Warning: Be sure to find the right lap.

Join the mile high club

While the flight attendants and everyone else on board knows exactly what you’re doing, if it floats your boat, go for it.

Go parking

Parking is what your parents and granny used to do when they were teens. For some retro fun, cruise up to a lookout over the city, turn up the radio and steam up some windows.

Lights! Camera! Action!

Make your spouse a movie clip telling him what you want to do to him and where he can find you. Email it to him at work to spice up his day.

Get rid of the TV

Confiscate the bedroom remote and get rid of the TV in the bedroom — you be his entertainment. You want his full attention, not him watching late-night sports updates over your shoulder.

Banish those once-were-white knickers to the bin

Get your sexy back and go and buy yourself some nice lingerie — bras and undies that match. Remember those days where you wouldn’t be seen dead without lacy underwear?

Play dress-ups

Get your Tarzan and Jane on. Swing on a rope tied to the ceiling fan and deck out the bedroom with plants if you have to. Not your thing? Borrow a flight attendant uniform or dress as a French maid.

Tease him while on the phone

If he’s in the middle of an important conversation to his mother or his boss, let your fingers do the talking. Chances are he won’t be able to stop grinning.

Do housework in the nude

Nude housework saves on getting your clothes dirty. It will also give your partner something to look at while you’re dusting, polishing and doing dishes.

Turn his six-pack into a table

Why eat at the table when you can spread out your dinner on his washboard stomach and lick it clean? Okay, so he might not have abs of steel, but you get the picture.

Flash him

Whether you’re walking past the lounge in your dressing gown or going braless in public (which is not advisable unless you’re quite perky), a quick flash of your flesh can indicate your interest.

Be demanding

Tell him exactly what you want and when you want it — and we don’t mean telling your bloke you want the dishes done and the lawns mowed by the time you get home from picking up the kids.

Be a superhero for a day

Hire superhero costumes (or make your own) and head out into the street for a day of fighting petty crimes together and doing good deeds — help an oldie across the road, top up a parking meter or stop a litterbug.

Bet on board or card games

The stakes are high and the competitiveness comes out when you have something to lose. Get a little frisky and up the ante with prizes, like the loser is a slave for a day or has to provide a three-hour massage.

Use flirty tactics to distract

If you can’t win — cheat! Use flirty tactics during games of pool, like leaning over the pocket where the ball is aimed at and showing off your cleavage, or pinch his bum just as he’s about to take that winning shot.

Turn basketball into a contact sport

The saying goes, “Couples that play together, stay together,” so why not try a little one-on-one. Rub your butt against him when he’s trying to steal the ball from behind or smother him with kisses when he tries to shoot.

Act rich and famous

Pretend to be rich and famous for a day. Visit million-dollar open homes that you could never afford or visit exclusive car dealerships and go for a test drive.

Play strip Jack naked or strip poker

What could possibly be more fun than a good old classic like a game of strip Jack naked or strip poker? You’ll feel like you’ve been whisked back to your teens.

Take a spontaneous vacation

Spontaneous means absolutely no planning — that’s half the fun. Once you finish work on a Friday night, grab your stuff and drive. Find a motel once you reach your destination and, if you have to sleep in the car, that’s all part of the adventure.

Are you looking for best things that spice up the bedroom with pictures? If you are looking for best things that spice up the bedroom with pictures you’ve come to the right place. joswall.com is such an open community that aims to provide users with a variety of plans, schematic, ideas or pictures.

We have 10 ideas about things that spice up the bedroom including images, pictures, photos, wallpapers, and more in high resolution as your inspiration. This background image is also suitable for other devices, such as desktop PCs, iPad, Iphone, Android, or Tablet. In these page, we also have variety of images such as png, jpg, animated gifs, pic art, logo, black and white, transparent, etc.

If you have your own original of plans, schematic, ideas or pictures, please upload to this platform. Some of the plans, schematic, ideas or pictures on this platform are free to download and will remain updated.

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How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

If you are married, there is a very good chance that you and your spouse have different sexual appetites. This not only applied to how often you want to have sex, but also to how adventurous you would each like to be in the bedroom.

A healthy sex life has aspects of both routine and adventure: If a couple builds sexual excitement by always searching for that next new experience, sex becomes less about intimacy and more about pursuing the physical high of sexual novelty. On the other hand, if a couple settles into a routine that never varies, sex will become mundane and lose the element of fun and passion that make the sexual relationship a special retreat from everyday life. Boring sex is no good. But neither is chasing novelty.

In the Song of Solomon, the bride tells her husband: The mandrakes send forth a fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, new as well as old, that I have treasured up for you, my beloved.

Through this veiled language, we see that this woman was able to delight in both new sexual experiences as well as appreciating the old.

Science tells us that our bodies respond differently to new sexual experiences than they do to having sex in a routine fashion. Novel sexual experiences are likely to be a powerful and memorable shakeup to boring sex as they cause our bodies to release the neurotransmitter PEA (a natural opioid) and adrenaline. Think about God’s plan for a new bride and groom, seeing each other naked for the first time. They were meant to be intoxicated with love as these powerful chemicals washed over their brains. No boring sex to be found in that plan!

When a couple has sex over the years, they may undervalue the beauty of the patterns of foreplay they’ve developed and how they routinely touch each other. While our bodies respond with a less potent cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters during these “normal” sexual experiences, they also have a great benefit for a married couple. Notably couples experience a surge of oxytocin, a powerful bonding hormone. This is only boring sex if you’re looking for some novelty or high. Married couples’ brains release natural endorphins which promote relaxation, boost immunity, aid sleep, and give a general sense of well being. (Who doesn’t need that??)

How do you as a couple build a sex life that enjoys the benefits of both “new” and “old” sexual treasures? How can you dodge boring sex without falling victim to the bondage of “something new.” Here are a few thoughts that may help:

Boring Sex Shakeup: Routine mixed with spontaneity.

Practically every couple will admit that sex isn’t likely to happen if they are not intentional about establishing a routine. The best of intentions are likely to be extinguished with the realities of children, job stress, and entertaining distractions. Even if the morning began with flirting, by the end of the day, one of you is likely to simply be too tired.

Like any other healthy practice in our lives, routine sets the stage for consistency. Sunday signals a time for rest and worship. Morning and evening remind us to brush our teeth. Couples who want to build intimacy in their marriages need to establish routines that make sexual intimacy a normal part of their lives together. They may agree on certain mornings or evenings during the week or even put time for sex on the calendar as they prepare for the week.

Remember: Routine doesn’t have to mean inflexibility! Taking a weekend away from the kids, meeting for a special rendevous during your lunch break, and waking up in the middle of the night to have sex are not practical routines, but can ignite your sex life with excitement and adventure.

Recognize ruts.

Mike and I had been married for about 10 years and had three young sons. Sex had become only a necessary routine for us—and not an enjoyable one for me as an exhausted mother. I was so frustrated by my lack of passion that one day, my thoughts went like this, “Mike and I have been married about ten years. We have sex an average of twice a week. That means about 1,000 times … my bedroom ceiling just isn’t that fascinating!” I knew we were in a rut and needed help to get out.

For three months, I asked the Lord in my own private prayer time to help me learn to enjoy sex. I looked for Christian books and studies that would help get us out of our rut. Even though money was tight, we committed to a date night every other week and challenged each other to take turns being creative.

There are times when you need to make sexual intimacy a focus of your marriage, and not just when there is an obvious problem. Too often couples play “defense” against sexual temptation without realizing that we also need to play “offense.”

Understand the difference between pushing comfort vs. conscience.

When sex becomes adventurous, you and your spouse try new things. You venture outside of the bedroom, try new positions, and look for ways to “spice things up.” Invariably, you will end up with questions like, “Is God okay with us doing THAT. ” Here is a blog that will help you sort through how to answer those questions. Your sexual relationship can have a lot of grey areas, not just in whether or not something is ok, but also in whether or not something is enjoyable. In some cases, one spouse is comfortable doing something that his or her partner is not.

In these situations, it’s important to distinguish between comfort and conscience. To grow in any area of life, we need to push past what feels comfortable and be willing to try new things. This is also true of sexual intimacy. If a man or a woman says, “I’m only willing to have sex in this position and in this room,” that couple will be limited in experiencing the joy of the gift of sex in their marriage. Learning to love each other sexually requires getting out of your comfort zone. You might even find that you like something that you originally thought you wouldn’t!

Having said that, there are some sexual acts or choices that violate your conscience. Before God, you just don’t feel that you have the freedom to engage in that act. For example, I know one Christian couple who had a lot fun going through the McDonald’s drive-through naked. I honestly could never do that because of the potential of someone seeing my husband or me. Paul taught that we never want to use our freedom in a way that would cause someone to stumble or to violate their conscience. As a couple works on their sex life together, it’s healthy to lovingly challenge comfort, but to always respect conscience.

God has designed sexual intimacy in marriage to be a journey, filled with many different facets of love throughout the years. There are seasons of explosive passion, seasons of desperately fighting for intimacy, and also seasons of resting in the comfort of familiar love. Like much of life, the secret to joy is to appreciate the beauty of every phase of marriage.

September 9, 2016

Sex is an extremely important part of a healthy marriage. While we will all have some different preferences and needs, and even different ideas about what a “satisfying” sex life looks like, physical intimacy is a critical part of developing and maintaining healthy bond.

Unfortunately, many couples slip into bad habits, grow complacent, or begin to lose interest in sex over time. This happens for a variety of reasons, from changing bodies to self-consciousness, changing sex drive to general disconnection in the relationship… Whatever the cause, a “boring” or nonexistent sex life will likely lead to other problems in the marriage as well.

Because physical connection is tied to emotional connection, a waning sex life can lead to reduced emotional attachment too… If you aren’t intimate – and that doesn’t JUST mean intercourse – you run the risk of growing apart emotionally.

Spice up your boring sex life!

So, how can you get things back on track?

1. Make Your Spouse Feel Desired

We can’t assume that our partners know what we are thinking and feeling – we have to tell them! A big part of feeling aroused and engaged in a sexual relationship is knowing that the other person finds you desirable… So tell your spouse!

Offer up compliments, tell them how much they matter to you, how good they make you feel. Just as emotional connections are related to sex, the opposite is true! Make this “emotional investment” into making your spouse feel attractive and desirable, which will likely boost their confidence – and it will have an impact on your sexual chemistry as well.

2. Take The Lead

Too many couples let their sex lives crumble because they are both waiting for the other person to act, to initiate something, to be the driving force in the sexual relationship. When you both wait for the other person, however, nothing happens!

Take matters into your own hands, and be the initiator! Most couples fall into some kind of routine when it comes to beginning a sexual encounter, so try to change it up! If you’re usually the less assertive one, take the lead!

Try to free yourself from whatever the “same old” way doing things might be. Give yourself some freedom, embrace your sexual confidence, and don’t just wait for the same routine to unfold again. Do something exciting!

3. Send Flirty Texts

Foreplay can happen all day long, even if you have to be apart. Thanks to text messages (and phone cameras), you and your spouse can enjoy playful, sexy banter that will have you both excited to get home and into each other’s arms.

This extends into your day-to-day interactions, not just messaging. The more you flirt with each other, build sexual tension, and take a playful, fun-loving approach to your sex life, the easier it will be to want to whisk each other away into the bedroom. It won’t feel like a chore, it won’t feel like only one of you isn’t interested, and it certainly won’t feel like an “all of the sudden” desire from one of you.

Keep the chemistry alive by feeding it throughout the day!

4. Talk About It

No, we don’t mean have a serious discussion about the importance of sex and getting on the same page (though that’s certainly a good idea too) – we mean actually talk about what turns you on!

You may think you know exactly what your partner likes, but you might be missing some things – and the same is true for them. Have an open talk about what you like, what works the best for you, and don’t skimp on the details. Get over the idea that you should both “just know” what each other want, and be explicit about it!

Not only will you get some important insight into the way your spouse is thinking about sex (and some details about their favorite things), it’s also foreplay in its own right – talking about sexy things will get you thinking about (and likely picturing) the pleasures your spouse is describing.

Have a talk, then put your newfound information into action!

Next time, we’ll cover another 4 points to get your sex life out of a rut. Remember, the connection you share is part mental, part emotional, and part physical – if the physical connection is lacking, the others may very well follow. Make it a priority to keep your sex life healthy, and it can strengthen those other connections too!

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!

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I enjoy writing about relationships because, if things are not right with your relationship with your partner, it will affect other things.

Is your relationship getting boring and repetitive?

We have all been there; things get off to a great start and all of a sudden, Nothing!

Suddenly, you are that couple. The couple that doesn’t go out anymore, sex becomes once a week, breakfast in bed becomes fart in bed, and goodbye kisses become “Honey, I’m off.”

You’re in a relationship rut! Here is how you can get out of it:

Try Something New in the Bedroom

SEX is typically the first aspect of a relationship that gets boring! Many argue that if you can keep things creative in this department, your partner will never get bored.

Here is what you can try:

  • Read books and different materials on sex and then experiment with your partner.
  • Have a naked day! Pick a day of the week when you can both afford to stay all day indoors. The rule is simple, you both have to be naked all day, relax and watch it play out.
  • Sex in the bedroom can be romantic, but it gets boring quickly. Try this – For a week, no sex in the room! Try the kitchen, the couch, the shower, anywhere but the bedroom.
  • Keep it in your pants, oral pleasure only. You both have to commit to keeping it in your pants. This means he cannot use his junk, and you have to find ways to pleasure him without your va-jay-jay.

Take a Weekend Trip Together

Take a trip! Get away from friends, family, kids, and anyone or anything that has denied you alone time.

  • Book a weekend getaway, it doesn’t have to be fancy. A cheap hotel just outside of town will do.
  • Make a checklist of things to do on the trip. Hit the beach, go to a restaurant, see a movie, go sight seeing, play board games in your hotel room, just do something.
  • Avoid distractions. Exchange mobile phones and all electronic devices, Set a naughty penalty for the use of your devices. If he wants 5 minutes with his phone, he has to spend 5 minutes extra on foreplay tonight.
  • Memories are all we have, and a good weekend trip will work wonders for your relationship and leave you with loving memories, just ensure you bring the thunder home with you

Sign up for a Class Together.

To get more quality time together, sign up for an activity you both enjoy or something you both suck at.

  • Sign up for an activity class.
  • Ensure it is an activity class because whatever you learn, you want it to be something you can practice together and correct each other’s mistakes.
  • This will help build teamwork and collaboration, and you will spend more time together.
  • Physical activities release dopamine; the chemical that helps your brain feel pleasure and happiness.

Find a New Pet Name For Your Partner

What pet names do you call each other? Baby? Honey? Dear Luv? Stop it already!

Here is what you should do instead.

  • Find a cute and adorable nickname for your partner. You can even use more than one.
  • Get Hilarious, Get Sweet, just make sure it isn’t a safe and boring nickname.
  • Suddenly, “My love” becomes “Prince Charming.”
  • Finding your partner sweeter and cuter nicknames will remind them of how much you love them and your partner will want to do the same for you.

Go Cold Turkey

. Only know you love her when you let her go. A little time away from your partner could help you appreciate the value of your partner.

  • Take a trip to see your parents, take a short break from each other,
  • This is not an excuse to do something that will ruin your relationship.
  • It is just to give both of you some space to appreciate the value of each other.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

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Decorating a bedroom is usually a challenge since you have to toe the line between creating a soothing environment for sleeping and a more vibrant design that reflects your personality. When you’re dealing with a boring square bedroom, the challenge can be even greater. You can easily spice up the look of your room, however, by making a few simple changes to help create a focal point and add visual interest to the space.

Add Color

No matter what shape your bedroom is, adding color is a foolproof way to spice up its appearance since white, cream or beige walls can give a space a drab, unfinished look. Painting the walls in a cool-toned color can give the room a calm, serene feeling. Try sky or powder blue for a soothing look. Mint and sage green are also attractive options. If you prefer a cozier feel for your bedroom, opt for a warm color. Peach or lemon yellow works well in a small, square bedroom. If your bedroom is a large square shape, however, you can try deeper shades on the wall. If you like cool shades, try a blue-gray or cornflower blue on the walls. For a warm look, go with gold or terracotta.

Angle Furniture

Following the lines of walls is the traditional way of placing furniture in a square bedroom, which means that large furniture items are typically placed flat against or parallel with the walls. But if you want to give your bedroom a more distinctive look, angle your furniture toward the walls instead. In particular, you may want to angle your bed to help make it the focal point of the room. You can place the rest of the furniture against the walls in a classic layout or angle another large piece like an armoire or bookcase to help balance the look of the angled bed.

Create an Accent Wall

If you don’t want to angle your bed or you want to further accent it, creating an accent wall behind the bed can instantly draw the eye. Using a contrasting color is an easy way to create an accent wall. If your walls are blue, paint your accent wall in an orange shade like peach or terracotta. For a room with sage walls, try a chocolate brown or eggplant shade. You can also create an accent wall by adding a pattern. Create a easy stripe pattern by using painter’s tape to mark off sections and filling in the stripes with a paint shade that contrasts with your wall’s base color. You can also add a pattern with wallpaper or use a faux finish like sponging to add texture that distinguishes the wall.

Hang a Dramatic Lighting Fixture

In a square room, it’s easy to find the center of the space and hang the fixture in the middle so it naturally draws the eye. You can choose from a variety of fixture styles depending on the type of decor that you prefer. If you like a traditional look, hang a classic crystal chandelier. For a funky look, try spray-painting an old brass chandelier in a bold color like red, purple or green. Pendant lights can also work in your bedroom. In a large square room, hang for several pendants in different colors or shapes in a cluster. In a smaller space, a single pendant light with a decorative cover is enough to draw the eye.

Broccoli is an edible green plant in the family of cabbage whose large flowering head is eaten as a vegetable. The term broccoli comes from the Italian word of broccoli, which means “the flowering crest of a cabbage “, and is the diminutive form of brocco, meaning “sprout”.

Broccoli is almost most often considered to be an exotic vegetable and it draws resemblance to cauliflower. It is said that broccoli was in Europe first cultivated about 2000 years ago and was brought to other countries by Italians. Broccoli is one of the most nutritious vegetables which has a dark green, crisp and sturdy floret.

There are three common types of broccoli. The most familiar is Calabrese broccoli, named after Calabria in Italy. It is a cool season annual grown crop. Sprouting broccoli has a large number of heads with many thin stalks. Purple cauliflower is another type of broccoli grown in Europe and North America. It has a head shaped like cauliflower but consists of tiny flower buds.

How to Prepare Broccoli

A few would say broccoli is boring but that is far from the truth. This is otherwise believed if not tried in different ways. Broccoli is juicy, fresh, firm and needs to be cooked in the right way.

Plunking down broccoli in boiling water breaks down its cells faster than any other cooking methods. If you want to have your broccoli sooner, dice it, braid it up with olive oil and salt and throw it in the oven.

You could also consider grilling, bake broccoli florets. After cooking broccoli make sure you let off steam and let the florets absorb the flavor and not get soggy.

Health Benefits of Broccoli

Broccoli contains magnesium and calcium, both of which are great for regulating blood pressure and bone health. Just one cup of it also contains the recommended daily allowance of vitamin C. The Vitamin C in broccoli works actually as an antioxidant, which means it helps in fighting off free radicals that can lead to cancer.

The vitamin C in Broccoli is also a potent antihistamine and it helps the body fight off colds. Broccoli is high in beta-carotene, and contains trace minerals like selenium, which work to strengthen the immune system, which also keeps the body system flu-free.

Broccoli also helps the eye health greatly. This comes to play by vitamin A and the carotenoid lutein in the vegetable. The carotenoid lutein also supports our heart health, along with other vitamins like vitamins B6 which reduce risk factors for cardiovascular disease.

There has been a lot of frenzy about broccoli. Broccoli is not usually boring as viewed by most people. This is true if it is spiced up with different recipes. Below are 7 recipes to spice your boring Broccoli;

1. Creamy Almond Broccoli salad

Most creamy salads are usually loaded with mayo, but this version, not necessarily new, opts for an almond butter, orange juice and miso dressing that gives it a pick overall. Toss the ingredients together, sprinkle with sauce, and you’ve got a side dish vegetable lunch ready for a meal.

2. Crispy Broccoli Parmesan Fritters

These potato pancake imitator fritters only require a food processor and a frying pan and can be ready under an hour. Then top it with a cup of Greek yogurt or sour cream, plus maybe a little salsa. The broccoli will come out delectable and crunchy.

3. Cheesy Cauliflower Broccoli Bake

This cheesy, vegetable-filled dish is the super healthy casserole. It’s lighter than the usual role thanks to low-fat cheese, fat-free milk, and olive oil; Dijon gives these things a notch flavor-wise.

4. Lemon Garlic Magic Broccoli

Anything called a “magic broccoli” is worth a try. This particular recipe requires only a tiny bit more effort than your usual roasting-on-the-pan, but the extra time makes such a big difference.

Add lemon juice, garlic, salt, pepper, and Parmesan to broccoli and toss them in the oven for 30 minutes. It’s definitely a game-changer. You can as well fry the broccoli with just a little butter, onions and garlic in a pan and voila.

5. Shrimp and Broccoli

This broccoli and spicy shrimp dish rivals any major delivery and is so simple to make. If you like things extra spicy, add a bit more red pepper flakes.

6. Ginger Chicken and Broccoli Stir Fry

A stir-fry should be your favorite weeknight meal, and this one is no exception. Garlic, ginger, soy sauce, and a pinch of brown sugar go a long way in transforming chicken and broccoli into a major dish.

7. Vegan Bang Bang Broccoli

This vegan broccoli dish is as tasty and colorful as the name implies. Chili paste and hot sauce give it a kick, and you probably already have most of the other ingredients you need in your pantry. Go on with the broccoli!

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

In This Article

If you’re finding it tough to even be alone together for more than a few minutes, let alone be intimate, take heart. As relationships mature, life happens.

We work hard at our jobs, spend endless hours taking care of basic daily tasks and helping others in our lives. Sometimes, our spouse ends up being the last person on our list. Because we know they will understand, and we can make it up to them later.

But why put your spouse—and sex with your spouse for that matter—last on the list? Don’t put your sex life on the back burner, get on with how to spice things up in the bedroom.

Also, watch this video on how to spice things up in the bedroom:
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Here’s a challenge: put it first on your list! Then everything else can fall into place as it may. Because if you develop your relationship with your spouse, you can definitely count it as a win.

Still, if it’s been a while, you may feel a little awkward getting it started in the bedroom. No worries! Here are some ideas to spice things up in the bedroom and get your engines going.

1. Go away for the weekend

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

There’s nothing like a new place and forced alone time to up the sexiness factor.

Plus, you don’t even have to worry about making the bed! You can even relax, nap, and get some needed energy before your encounter. Just make sure to do the deed at least once or more for every day you’re away, ok?

2. Play a little game

Nothing makes sex more exciting than mixing things up. If you’re bored with the same old routine, then spice it up with a game. Perhaps set a timer and take turns choosing what to do next, or roll some of those sex dice to have the dice decide for you.

3. Sleep, exercise, food

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Ok, so these things are not necessarily sexy, but they can lead to great sex! If you are tired all the time, don’t get any exercise, and eat terribly, then you will feel bad. One of the first things to do to spice up the bedroom is to level up your fitness, mental well-being, and hygiene.

If you feel yucky, you aren’t going to feel like having sex, or sex itself may not be as pleasant as it could be. Take care of your body, and intimacy will just get better and better.

4. Tell each other your fantasies

Maybe he’s always wanted to do it on the beach, and maybe she has always wanted to be literally swept off her feet. Now, time to play out those fantasies.

If you can’t actually play them out, pretending is fun, too. Set the mood, and make your fantasies come true How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

5. Switch things up

Try new sexual positions, new locations in the room or house, new music, a new time of day—the newness will make things more exciting than ever. Who knows?

You may even find something new you want to incorporate next time. But if you don’t, no worries. The point is to have fun trying!

6. Buy a book about sex

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Spicing things up in marriage entails breaking the bedroom stalemate. One of the things to spice up the bedroom for him and her is to educate yourself.

Buy a book about sex and take turns reading it to each other; or find articles online that would be fun to read to each other and gain useful insights to enhance your sex life.

You never want to stop learning, especially when it comes to this subject. And be sure to educate each other on what your needs are!

7. New lingerie

Things to spice up the bedroom include some fancy lingerie. Grab your spouse’s attention or do it for your confidence.

Decide who gets to buy it, and then take the time to model it before it goes on the floor. Men are visual creatures and the anticipation, as well as the reveal, will make him melt.

Women, be confident as you strut in the room and start spicing it up in the bedroom.

8. Double the foreplay

How to spice up the bedroom? This one is for pleasing the ladies, who love the build-up almost as much as the main event. Touch her everywhere, be gentle, be thorough. You’ll know when she’s reached her limit.

All the extra time will be well worth it.

9. Initiate sex

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

If you’re not usually the initiator, then go for it. You may feel shy at first, but your boldness will make things riskier, more exciting— sexier.

10. Flirt more during the day

It’s all about anticipation. So why wait until you’re in the bedroom to get things heated?

Ways to spice up the bedroom for him or her include flirting all day long.

Send suggestive texts, make out, wink, play footsie, cuddle, grab a little bum, and just have fun.

You’ll feel even more ready for what’s next by the time you close the bedroom door.

11. Enhance your bedroom’s ambiance

On how to spice up sex life, achieve the perfect bedroom ambiance, and do away with a cluttered, stressful bedroom. One instant way to spicing things up in the bedroom is a change in the scenery. It is a simple way to bring novelty in your sex life.

Light candles, use the silk sheets, warm up the room a bit, put on some soft music. Make the room as inviting as possible, and soon you’ll be lost in each other’s arms.

13. Be a little naughty

On how to spice things up in the bedroom, get out of your comfort zone, try new things to try in bed and take things up a notch.

Here are some more ideas to spice things up in the bedroom.

Do some dirty talk, give a little spank, make your spouse wear a blindfold, use a feather to tickle, why not be a tad bit naughty? Get ready to play with these tips to spice up the bedroom. With these fun ways to spice up your marriage sexually, you will never be stumped on what to do to set the sheets on fire.

If it’s out of the norm for you, it’ll make you and your spouse feel a little dangerous, making the whole experience that much more exciting. So get started with these ideas to spice things up in the bedroom, and outside the bedroom.

I love my husband. He works his butt off for me and the kids.

I stay home and watch the kids. We have 3 teen girls.

I feel that my marriage is boring, but I don’t want a divorce. I love my husband too much. I have tried talking to him about this, but it always ends up in an argument.

I was just want more excitement in my life, and NO cheating is out of the question.

Thanks for the help!

16 Answers

You need to find a way to approach your husband about this in a way that he doesn’t feel that you’re blaming him for the lack of excitement. Try telling him that there are some things that you would like to start doing differently – don’t go into what you want him to do differently. Just keep the conversation focused on yourself.

Make sure he understand that you know that he works his butt off. Tell him frequently how much you appreciate it, how much you appreciate being able to stay home and raise the kids. As you change and he sees that you’re happier, he will be motivated to make some changes himself.

Now, you say you want more excitement from life but you can’t expect to find all of that in your marriage. You need to seek your happiness yourself. Some changes you might want to consider are getting a part-time job in a field that you enjoy, that might be at a retail store or service – just about anything really but it should be something you actually like, not just a blah job. You said your girls are teens so you should be able to get away for a few hours in the day.

If you don’t feel that you have skills to get a job you would enjoy try volunteering somewhere that you care about, I’ve found that nothing is more rewarding than helping others. I live near a womens shelter that I like to help out a few hours a week. It’s not exciting work but it’s seeing the people that I’m helping that I get my boost from.

You could also look into taking a class or two at a local school. Learning new things is always exciting. This could be anything from working on earning a degree to taking piano lessons or a photography class.

There are things you could do at home too. One of things I’m most excited about right now is re-decorating. We can’t afford substantial new furniture so it’s just new paint and a few new accessories but I’m having a great time. I’m being fearless with color and I love it! If you love cooking start experimenting with some new wonderful recipes. Find something you love and introduce your family to it.

Last but never least is sex, this is the part that your husband will be most excited about I imagine. I highly recommend 101 Nights of Great Sex by Laura Corn. The pages are marked His and Hers and they’re sealed. The idea is that you take turns taking out a page (every week, every other week or one week a month) and do what it says to do without telling the other what that is. It adds some great anticipation for the end of the week. Marriage gets so monotonous after a long time and I think it’s partly that anticipation and eagerness that’s missing. This book really helps kick that up a notch. It’s not kinky, maybe a few things you’ve never done before, maybe a few things you won’t want to do at all but there will be enough of them that you’ll love to get your motor running.

By Sara LeDuc on Aug 06, 2020

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

While most couples want to keep their relationship “spicy,” there are definitely time periods in a marriage when doing so feels next to impossible. Let’s just say that it’s easier said than done. But if you heed the red flags, you’re on the right path toward preventing a boring sex life. In an attempt to keep what goes on in your bedroom fresh and exciting, h ere’s some things to watch out for.

1. You Don’t Try New Things

When your relationship was new, it probably came naturally to try novel things in the bedroom. Once that stops happening and you fall into the same old (somewhat boring) routine, it’s definitely an indication that it’s time to freshen things up.

2. There’s no Spontaneity

This comes down to being too invested in routine. Being spontaneous is a natural way to keep things exciting in your bedroom. Rather than only being intimate on designated days or at certain times, spice things up by being less regimented and letting your instincts rule. Taking the time to surprise your spouse in this way shows that you want to keep your relationship exciting and intimate time with them is more than just a date on a calendar.

3. You Keep Sex in the Bedroom

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

If sex is always occurring in the same place, take that as a sign that you need to shake things up. Try a new location, as well as a new position or two, to keep things fun and interesting. Changing up your entire routine—including time of day, location, and method—all make for a more spicy love life.

4. You De-Prioritize Sex

If everything in your life seems to come before sex, it’s a major sign that you need to spice things up. This includes using the excuse of being “too busy” to be intimate with your partner. Although everyone gets swamped from time to time, sex shouldn’t be consistently low on the priority list.

5. There’s no Physical Affection Outside the Bedroom

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

A lack of affection in general between you and your spouse could indicate that you need to change things up. If you never hold hands, cuddle, kiss, or touch each other in non-sexual ways, you could use some more physical affection in your marriage. Work on being more affectionate with one another outside the bedroom, which will naturally lead to more affection inside the bedroom.

6. You’re Jealous of Others’ Sex Lives

If you find yourself pining after the sex life that your best friend describes, it could be a sign that you need to spice things up in your own relationship. Instead of fantasizing about someone else’s reality in the bedroom, make it your own with the most important person in your life.

7. Date Nights Are no More

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Of course, with social distancing at the top of many people’s minds, date nights can be far and few between these days. However, they’re important to your relationship. Make it a point to have a date night in which you actually interact with each other rather than just sitting in front of the TV or burying your nose in your phone.

8. Sex Feels Rushed

If sex feels rushed, it’s definitely a sign that things need some spicing up with your spouse. Sex is meant to be enjoyed rather than rushed through, so make sure you’re making the most out of this special time with your husband or wife.

9. There’s no Foreplay

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Skipping right to the main event when you have sex is a sign that you need to shake things up where intimacy is concerned. Foreplay is a fun and important part of sex with your partner, so don’t skimp on it!

10. You Avoid Talking About Sex

If you don’t talk about sex regularly with your partner, it could indicate that this part of your marriage needs some attention. Talk about sex more regularly, and it just may lead to actually having more sex and, in turn, establishing a deeper connection. Need some ideas of what to talk about? Here’s three conversations to have about sex with your husband.

Keep an eye out for these signs that lead to the need to spice things up for you and your spouse.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Feel like you need to spice up your marriage?

For many of us sex has become kind of boring. We always do the same thing. He may enjoy it, but quite often we don’t. And so we wonder: is this all there is? Can we find passion again? So today on Wifey Wednesday let’s talk about how to reignite the fire and spice up your marriage!

1. Spicing Up Your Marriage Usually Means Better Foreplay

Recently I was talking about foreplay–how important it is for a woman to get warmed up! Unless we’re aroused before we start intercourse, intercourse usually isn’t that great. Sure, quickies can be fun, but on the whole, we need some time and some attention.

But that time and attention can be, well, boring. Foreplay can sometimes feel too routine. He’s supposed to kiss us and touch us so that we’re turned on. But that doesn’t always do it for us. If we’ve got shopping lists running through our heads, or we’re finding it hard to relax, and then he starts touching us, it’s hard to get aroused.

So we need something to get us out of our heads so that we’re willing and able to concentrate on what’s going on! And that’s often where spicing things up, and doing things a little differently, can help.

2. Spicing Things Up Means Learning More About Your Body

Sometimes we get in a rut–we always make love the same way, in the same position, and it doesn’t necessarily feel that great. Spicing things up gives us a plan to help us try more things, and perhaps discover new things that feel good. It helps us feel more adventurous in bed. And it gives us something new to look forward to!

3. Spicing Up Your Marriage Isn’t A Mandatory Thing

If you’re happy the way things are, that’s great! If things are always working well, and you’re both always having fun, then you don’t need to mess with a good thing. But sometimes it’s great to add a little different kind of fun to help you learn more about yourself. One of the things that makes sex really stupendous is when we truly open ourselves up to our spouse. When we become vulnerable, and we let him in (in all kinds of ways!), we feel even more intimate, and that makes the physical side better.

If we’re always doing the same thing, though, then some of that vulnerability may be lost, simply because you get comfortable. You can wall off part of yourself sexually. Now, like I said, if you are having fun, and he is having fun, then please, don’t feel like you need to do anything else! But often I do think couples can benefit from changing things up a little bit every now and then because you do learn more about yourself, and that does make you more intimate.

4. Spicing Things Up Can Be Scary

The problem is, though, that spicing things up in the bedroom can be scary because how exactly do you do it? Let’s face it–most of the stuff that’s out there to help you “spice things up” doesn’t really help at all. Sex toys have major down sides. They can make us reliant on the toy to feel good, can create parallel sexual experiences rather than enhance intimacy, and can focus too much on the body and not enough on intimacy.

And if you look online for ways to spice things up, you may find ideas which are totally a turn-off–and which can be dangerous for your relationship. Our culture is going crazy with things that warp sex rather than making it a beautiful thing. I’ve known of couples, for instance, who have decided to try reading erotica together, because at least that’s not looking at porn. But erotica almost always involves couples who aren’t married–or even sexual scenarios that are forced or in other ways wrong. Searching for that online can definitely take you down a bad path.

Many couples, then, would like to try different things, but they really don’t know where to start. You’re scared to look online (as you should be!), and yet coming up with new ideas seems overwhelming. So you’re it seems like you’re in this rut forever.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Clean and Fun Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage

So today, then, I’d like to give you some great resources for spicing things up–resources that you can even use for Christmas!

Sexy Dares

Here it is–24 amazing dares to help your marriage soar–8 that she takes the lead on; 8 that he takes the lead on; and 8 you do together. And they’re all clean. Nothing that will gross you out, involve a third party, or suggest porn.

Each dare has a scenario that you’re going to act out–or complete–tonight.

They’re easy, they don’t cost very much (most don’t cost anything), and they’re fun! They’ll encourage you to be more active, to spend more time on foreplay, and to discover new things about yourself. And some of the dares even have to do with working on your spiritual intimacy and truly feeling like one, too.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

There’s a popular misperception that older people lose interest in sex. Indeed, study after study shows that people want to maintain active sex lives well into their later years. And yet there are factors — such as a natural decline in energy levels — that can make those over 50 feel sexually stalled. To prove that sexuality can still be alive (and lively) as we age, here’s a list of five tricks to try for better sex, compiled with the help of a few of our Huff/Post50 sex bloggers.

1. Stop being hung up on looks.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

If you are worried about the sexiness of your post-50 body, you’re going to be distracted and not fully present in a sexual encounter. As Huff/Post50 blogger Erica Jagger says, “Now that you’re middle-aged, you have a greater understanding of what you want in bed, and are probably better able to communicate it than you were in your 20s. Stop caring about what you look like during sex and be grateful your body can give you so much pleasure.”

2. Think beyond the traditional.

Erections, generally speaking, aren’t as reliable after 50 as they were at, say, 21. Now is the time to think beyond so-called conventional sex. As Jagger says, “Oral sex, mutual masturbation, the use of personal lubricants, and the addition of sex toys are excellent ways to deepen sexual pleasure and intimacy. Instead of bemoaning the fact that your body doesn’t respond the way it did in your 20s, get creative. You may actually find you enjoy sex more now that you have a few extra items in your sexual toolkit.”

To combat vaginal dryness, definitely try lube before intercourse. Gynecologist Cheryl Iglesia tells The Huffington Post that water-based and/or silicone-based lubricants are a good option. Water-based lubes tend to be less irritating, she says, while silicone-based ones can last longer.

3. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

For Huff/Post50 blogger Barry Gold, the main driver of better sex after 50 has been communication. “Admittedly, it helped that I had gotten divorced, and was starting fresh with new partners; there were no old habits or patterns in place, nor the other issues inherent in a deteriorating marriage. But in each case, from the very start, we spoke openly and honestly about what we enjoyed doing and having done, as well as our expectations for that aspect of the relationship. Moreover, this communication wasn’t just during encounters — it was continual, occurring in non-sexual settings like the market or a restaurant, on the phone, and via text and emails. So not only does information (and lots of jokes) get exchanged, all the ‘sexy talk’ keeps it front of mind, leading to more sex, leading to more talk, leading to more sex, and a wonderful positive feedback loop is created.”

4. Pay closer attention to what you do before you have sex.

Don’t eat a heavy meal as “food coma” is very real. Carby, fatty and sugary foods can all trigger a pretty powerful slow-down signal to your brain as soon as these foods hit your gut, which can make you drowsy. And don’t drink too much either. Drinking too much at one time may dull your sensations, making sexual arousal more difficult. Oh, and don’t forget to pee. You don’t want to have to race off to the bathroom just as things are getting hot and heavy.

5. Try something completely outside your comfort zone.

We recommend this one with a big caveat: In some states, having sex in a public restroom is a misdemeanor.

Huff/Post50 blogger Jack Anderson reminds us that the unisex bathroom is back at many restaurants, “which is incredibly exciting for couples in their 50s [or older] who want to sneak a lil sumthin’ sumthin’ before dessert. Just make sure that you knock on the right door, with the agreed-upon knock sequence, before entering to make sure that your partner is inside. And make sure, when you’re finished, that you both wash your hands thoroughly at the communal sink so you can look at each other’s Cheshire grins.”

Or if you’re used to getting it on only in the bedroom, try the living room or kitchen, as long as no one else is home. The goal is to spice things up.

So did we miss anything? What gets YOU in the mood? Let us know in comments.

Also on HuffPost:

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

If a home is a fort for the family, the living room certainly is the heart of it. This is the space where everyone in the family come together and weave memories and live perhaps one of their best moments. Since a lot of time is spent in these spaces in every house, a lot of attention and detail is ought to be shown in how it looks and feels. This can be done in a cost effective yet aesthetically tasteful way by the use of quirky hacks and tricks. These not only lifts up the feel of the space but also adds a very personal layer of likes, dislikes and tastes of the people residing in the house.

  1. Let the art do its magic.

How to Spice up a Boring BedroomPimp up your boring walls by placing things you can relate to How to Spice up a Boring BedroomBye bye boring walls. Recycle and reuse old wooden planks and write your heart out on them.

Art for the walls of the living does not need to be expensive or fancy but can be one that speaks for the people and their preferences. It can be a favorite quotation of a picture frame of the family its self. One can also showcase their own creative side by doing DIY art for the living room wall with easily available resources.

2. Making the room larger by placing mirrors

How to Spice up a Boring BedroomReflect back your living room and make it look larger How to Spice up a Boring BedroomHaving fun with concave and convex mirrors to change perception of space.

Mirrors give an illusion of space being bigger and beyond of what it actually is. Hanging mirrors reflects the room back in into its self. One can also use the mirrors in convex or concave shapes to make them a piece of art while at the same time making the space feel larger. Simple mirrors can be used in variation of sizes or a stand alone one can be placed each giving their own features to the space.

3. Adding a rug or two to the space

How to Spice up a Boring BedroomThe red carpet on the floor has taken our attention on the floor in the room How to Spice up a Boring BedroomPerfect visual texture in the room with this motif rug.

By placing a floor rug in the living room the space can be delineated and is helpful in adding visual texture to the room. Using traditional motifs and tribal prints, a more indigenous feel to the space can be attained. Rugs of brighter colors in neutral palette rooms can bring out a contrast which can help the room liven up.

4. Add those greens in the room

How to Spice up a Boring BedroomLiving room with nature settling in very well. How to Spice up a Boring BedroomNature comes in door with this beautiful lounge area

Perhaps one of the best ways to make a room feel better is to let nature inside it. By making the living room a sanctuary for plantation and greens, the environment feels more earthy and is not only healthy but also soothing to look at. Plants can be placed not only on the ground, in smaller pots on ledges and tables but also hung from ceilings, walls and lintels of the room.

5. Throw in some pillow cushions.

How to Spice up a Boring BedroomRandom prints on these cushions spice give deep hues to this room How to Spice up a Boring BedroomYellow pillow on the sofa stands out in other wise neutral colored room

This is one of the best hacks to make your living room get that extra kick. The old sofa can look fresher just by using brighter and patterned cushion pillows. The recent trend of having visual and tactile textured cushions add that extra detail in the room. These pillows can be of various sizes and dont even have to be of a certain family of colors and textures; a mix match of them often works better by hinting away a formal feeling from the most casual room of the house.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Do you find sometimes that your relationship is becoming stagnant? Sometimes when you get comfortable with your special significant other, you can find yourselves missing out on the old romance that brought you together in the first place.

There are a few little things that you can do to put the spark back into the fire and find what it was that brought you together in the first place. Sometimes the little things really do count and you can show each other through the little gestures. Look through some of these suggestions to spice up your relationship and love life.

Things to Do to Spice up Your Relationship

The power of touch

Don’t underestimate the power of touch. If you are not an overly affectionate couple, then it is time to reintroduce touch into your relationship to spice it up. Kiss, hug, and cuddle one another in order to maintain a physical connection. If the mood is right, you can take this up a notch and even engage in a nice massage for each other.

Dress a little sexier

One way to spice things up in a relationship is to dress a little sexier. Is there a favorite shirt or dress that your significant other really likes to see you in? Or maybe even a certain color that they always think looks flattering on you. You can even turn this up a notch by putting on some sexy lingerie in order to spice up your relationship because not everything about your relationship has to be the same old thing.

Take a romantic bath together

Nothing spices up a little romance like running a bath surrounded by lit candles. This sultry gesture will spice up your relationship whether you choose to bathe together or just run a nice relaxing warm bath for your significant other so they can take a load off from their day. The dimmed lights with the glow of flickering candles will also set a romantic mood.

You can also surprise your significant other in the shower or bath. You do not have to be sexual for this to be an intimate and romantic occasion. Something as simple as shampooing each other’s hair or washing one another’s backs can be very sensual. Take your time and enjoy your time together.

Wear his or her favorite cologne

Try wearing some of her favorite cologne or his favorite perfume. Nothing starts up the senses quite like the sense of smell and that lingering scent will be sure to leave a lasting impression to the point of where you will be nuzzled up to one another.

Have a date that is completely unlike any other

Surprise the other with a special date on the rooftop or a random day trip to a fantastic area to take a hike together. Clear your schedule and make a quick weekend getaway or just even make time to go out for coffee on a weekend morning. Make sure you make time to have these dates on a regular basis.

Use you imagination in bedroom

Use your imagination and try something new in your bedroom. You do not always have to be in the same old position or even be yourself. Try a little role playing or even check out Karma Sutra books that can help educate you on tantric positions or ways to conduct foreplay that will blow your partner’s mind and make your relationship even hotter.

Make out

How long has it been since you actually sat on the couch or in a theater and made out like teenagers? Sometimes just bringing back that thrill of being glued lip to lip is exciting and exhilarating which can be fun and add a little bit of spunk back into your romance.

Wine can helpHow to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

Drink some wine together. Take a little together time and spend it peacefully talking. Relax with a glass of wine in front of a cozy fireplace or out on a blanket underneath the stars. Just a little bit of wine can help lighten the mood. For non-drinkers, even a sparkling grape juice can be just as romantic. Remember, it is all about who you are with.

Sexy messages

Lighten the mood and be playful throughout the day by sending little flirty or sexy and romantic messages, emails or texts throughout the day. Let your other half know that you are thinking of them. You might even leave a naughty note inside your significant other’s briefcase, laptop bag, in the car, or even on their pillow.

Romantic atmosphere

Set up a living room or a bedroom with just the right tone. Turn down the lights, put on a little bit of music, and spend a little bit of intimate time together. Just the two of you alone, letting the weight of the day just melt away can be a significant distraction and help spice up the love in your romantic life.

Appeal to all of the senses

You do not just have to use perfume or cologne and sexy clothing. Light relaxing candles that smell divine. Close your eyes and stroke your partner’s hair. Put on some light music that is romantic. Feed each other some of your favorite foods. It can be a wonderful way to use all senses to reconnect.

Pretend that you just met

If you have been together for a bit and need to rekindle, sometimes you just need to get to know each other again. Talk about interests and hobbies or things that you never have known about each other. It is a wonderful way to rekindle a romance and learn new things about each other.

Take a break from life – do something fun

The everyday life can become tedious and it can be fun to just go to an amusement park, a sporting event, go to the batting cages or play miniature golf. Challenge each other while playing games and have fun little bets in the case that one of you wins. This is a fun and exciting way to put the spice back into your relationship.

DVR your partner’s favorite movie or TV show

When you do not have the time to spend at home or cuddled up watching your favorite shows together, you can take a gesture every now and then in order to show your significant other that you were trying to be thoughtful when you know that their favorite show or movie was going to be on air.

Watch dirty movies together

If you are into it, you can spice up a relationship in a not-so-romantic way by watching a dirty movie together. Some people may able to bond over the experience of eroticism. Some might just be able to laugh about it.

Try working on your own life first.

  • A relationship won’t always be passionate and spontaneous, therapists say. It’s normal to sometimes feel bored in your marriage.
  • But there are ways to spice things up, like planning to do something “illicit” with your partner.
  • This post is part of Relationships 101, a series which aims to help us all be happier and healthier in love – and to stop fighting over who should take out the trash.

If there’s one “problem” relationship experts hear over and over again, it’s this: The passion has faded. The routine has replaced the spontaneous.

Yet most of those experts will tell you this generally isn’t a reason to freak out. If there is a problem, it’s in how you’re handling the boredom. Advertisement

Accept that the waxing and waning of passion is normal

Couples therapist Rachel Sussman puts it bluntly. “Were we really put on this earth to have a monogamous sex life for 50 years and have passion the entire time for our partner?” she said when I interviewed her last year. “I don’t think so.”

So when couples come to see Sussman complaining about the lack of passion in their relationship, she wants them to know: This is normal.

People are worried “that something’s wrong with them,” she told me. They think “maybe something’s wrong with the couple; maybe something’s wrong with them individually.”

Chances are, there’s not. “People think, ‘Oh, [passion] should just be there,'” Sussman said. “No! It shouldn’t just be there. You have to create it.”One strategy Sussman recommends? Scheduling sex dates, right there on the calendar. Advertisement

Plan to do something ‘illicit’ in your relationship

Tammy Nelson is a sex and relationship therapist, and the relationship expert at Ashley Madison, a website for people seeking affairs. Nelson told me the “fantasy of an affair” is simply that “you’ll have that impulsive excitement.”

But affairs come with risk, like potentially destroying your partner’s trust in you and wrecking your own self-image.

So Nelson proposes that people aim to have that impulsive excitement within their own relationships. “You have to have an affair with your spouse,” she said. Meet like strangers at a bar one night, for example. Advertisement

As Nelson said, “You have to make something about your marital sex feel dangerous.”

Make your own life more exciting

Ruth Westheimer – a.k.a. “Dr Ruth” – says boredom is the single biggest threat to a romantic relationship.

Perhaps surprisingly, Westheimer advises anyone in this situation to focus first on themselves. Advertisement

“By investing in yourself in all these ways, you’ll find that the fog of boredom will lift and the bright light of joie de vivre will being to light your life.”

And if it doesn’t, it might be time to seek professional guidance, either individually or as a couple. Advertisement

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Many people spend a third of their lives in their bedroom, yet too often the space is a decorative bore rather than the soothing, beautiful sanctuary of rest it could be. Installing a miscellaneous jumble of furniture and accessories, combined with settling for white walls, are typical decorative fails. Fortunately, amping up the energy level of a bedroom to provide a comfortable, harmonious and attractive environment doesn’t require lots of money or time — just a bit of creativity and thought.

Color

A couple of cans of latex paint can do wonders for the feel of a room. Light to medium hues work best; these include pastels, as long as they’re not washed-out. Corals and pinks add warmth to a bedroom, while light blues and mint greens create a calm, relaxing atmosphere. Avoid muted, grayed or dark tones. Paint molding, woodwork and furniture white to add contrast, and add a hint of black with accessories such as picture frames, vases or electronics to give the room a bit of punch. Add bedding, drapes and area rugs in a complementary color – the color opposite your wall color on a color wheel – for contrast; alternatively, use analogous colors – the colors next to your wall color on a color wheel – for a more harmonious look. Mix solid fabric and rug colors with dramatic, graphic patterns. Add a large painting over the bed to create drama and interest.

Lighting

A combination of task lighting and ambient lighting adds function and helps define the mood of your bedroom. Table or floor lamps can provide light for reading and ambient lighting at the same time, while recessed lights or track lights aimed at specific spots can offer more focused task lighting. Torchieres and uplights can liven up dark corners and add dimension; an uplight tucked behind a potted palm can add both light and interest to a space as it casts shadows on its surroundings. Avoid using direct overhead lighting; it’s typically too bright, flat and unflattering.

Texture

Varying the textures in your bedroom adds interest. Use linen-textured wallpaper on one or more walls; put a thick, colorful rya rug on the floor or hang it on a wall; opt for silk or brocade bedding and drapes for an opulent, elegant look or simple cotton for a fresh, crisp look. Add black and stainless steel metal and glass furniture and accessories for a modern statement, or stick to wood for a more traditional take.

Space

Furniture requirements for a bedroom can be pretty simple: a bed, a nightstand or nightstands, a bureau and perhaps a chair. Unfortunately, when these pieces are simply pushed up against the walls, the result is boring and not all that functional. Focus on the three-dimensional character of the room. Create several areas devoted to different functions, and decorate each area in a way that provides some individuality, while coordinating with the rest of the room. For instance, devote half the room to sleeping and create a seating area with a few chairs surrounding a low table in the other half of the room, or create a reading nook with an easy chair, side table and floor lamp near a window. For children and teens, put down a comfy area rug and add some bean bag chairs for them and their friends and plenty of storage for toys and books. Vary the height of the furnishings so that the whole room, from top to bottom, has visual interest.

Where Wellness & Culture Connect

6 Ways To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom
Night after night, year after year, you go to bed with the same person again and again. Like it or not, it can get routine and downright boring after a while. So we’ve taken a few tips from the relationship experts (aka those who have been together for a long time) and asked them what they did to spice things up. Here are their answers:

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1. Call and leave and sexy message

If you are somewhere quiet and where no one else can hear you, go old school and actually call your mate up and tell him or her exactly how much you want their body and you want them. Do some heavy breathing and put on your sexy voice. Don’t make it long. The less time the better (around 60 seconds is best) and end with, “I can’t wait to see you.” That will do two things: 1) probably surprise the hell out of your mate and 2.) get his or her’s juices flowing for you later on.
2. Have sexy anywhere BUT the bedroom

The bedroom can become boring. Step out of your comfort zone and get it popping in living room after watching a movie or in the kitchen (be careful if the stove is on, lol). But you get what I’m trying to say, be creative and do it somewhere else than the same bed, in the SAME position, like you ALWAYS do.

3. Read an erotic story in bed together

Reading an erotic story can help by allowing someone else to paint a steamy picture for you. Anybody can watch porn, but if you both take turns reading an erotic story then you can see how your partner starts to get into it. Go for the highly rated erotica stories, you can find them easily online.

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4. Do a sex challenge

What’s a sex challenge you ask? Well, recently on the Steve Harvey talk show, a group of couples vowed to have sex every day for 90 days straight to see how that can change their love life and boy did it! One hundred percent of…

Trying to take sex to another level? Experimenting under the sheets is a great way to keep the flames alight and if you want to test out new fantasies, here’s how you could convince your partner

  • 12:46, 15 JUL 2020
  • Updated 13:57, 15 JUL 2020

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

It’s always really important to try new things in the bedroom.

Whether it might be a fetish or watching porn together, even enjoying a new sex position could be the way.

Whatever it is, the thing that might put you off is trying to tell your partner.

Sexpert Nadia Bokody shared a trick to help add some spice under the sheets and end boring sex lives forever.

Writing for news.com.au, she revealed how normal it is for a person to enjoy something in the bedroom.

And more importantly, the Australian shared tips on how people can reveal their kinks and fetishes to their partners.

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

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She said: “Your partner isn’t going to hurl a finger at you like a 17th century witch and yell ‘FREAK’ upon learning your bondage fantasy.

“In all likelihood, because they’ve at some point fantasied about it too.

“When it comes to sex, we’re just not as different as we like to think we are.

“Enter just about any wild combination of words into an X-rated site and you’re guaranteed to find hundreds of video results.”

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

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In fact, Nadia admits it’s actually really simple having that conversation with your other half.

She added: “Sharing your secret turn-on is a whole lot less complicated when you need to hit play to demonstrate how it’s done.

“If your partner likes what they see, great! Ask if they’d be done for replicating it with you.

“And if they maintain a poker face? Inquire, ‘is this turning you on?'”

Talking about the bedroom trick, Nadia continued: “The worst possible outcome is that they’ll respond, ‘Not really’.

“In which case, you haven’t put your ego on the line and can scroll on to find something you both enjoy.

“Because there’s really no such thing as ‘normal’ when it comes to sexuality.

“Just a whole lot of people who haven’t watched enough RedTube yet to realise they’re not perverts.”

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Sleeping in a Boring Bedroom? Spice Up Your Room with these Simple Tips

How to Spice up a Boring Bedroom

After a long day of work and errands, you all want to retreat to your beloved bedroom. Sometimes, we moms just want to temporarily take a break and enjoy just lounging in our beds with our soft sheets. But our bedrooms must go beyond clean, sometimes a visually appealing room can make great changes not just in your homes but in our lives as well.

Changing the decor of our rooms doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, you can do it yourself. When shopping for home decor Canada online, you can leisurely browse through a virtual catalog and have everything delivered at your doorstep. And you have to admit that online shopping is much more convenient than going to physical stores. Seeing everything laid out makes selecting and comparing decor easier, and you can do it without the constraint of time.

The key here is to make small changes if you can’t afford a major room renovation. Here are some things that can make significant differences in your room.

How to Spice up a Boring BedroomPhoto by taylor hernandez on Unsplash

Throw in some personality

Throws can turn a plain couch into a hippie abode for Friday night guitar sessions, or into a chic gray-toned section dedicated for reading classics. Regardless of its purpose, throws give personality to any dull space.

You can have one hanging by the edge of your bed, on tables and nightstands, and even on your chair to wrap around as you grind through Saturday morning emails. There’s no end to the variety that a simple throw can bring to your space.

Consider purchasing new designs and switch them around when you get bored. They can be stored with your other linens and bedding, so there’s no problem with owning a bunch.

How to Spice up a Boring BedroomPhoto by Hutomo Abrianto on Unsplash

Consider some indoor plants

One of the best ways to bring life into your room is to introduce a plant. It’s the perfect home decor if you’re a green thumb or love being around things that remind you of nature. Do you know certain indoor plants are natural air purifiers?

Even if you can’t commit to taking care of flowers and shrubs, you don’t have to miss out on them. That’s because you can find a ton of artificial plants when you browse through shops that sell home decor in Canada online.

The type of plant and arrangement can completely change the look and feel of a space. Plus, going for a more exotic planter option, such as the gorgeous round wicker planters, can make your home feel elegant at an affordable price.

Plants, both real and artificial, are versatile, so you can mix, match, and move things around for a quick change.

How to Spice up a Boring BedroomPhoto by Christopher Jolly on Unsplash

Brighten up your room with great lighting

Find interesting sources of light. Lamps make for a great bedside or desk companion, but choosing one with a geometric silhouette will give your home an extra flair.

Ceiling lamps don’t necessarily have to hang from ceilings. Their long wires make them versatile light sources and easy to work around with. They can be wrapped around closet racks to create an adorable dangling light or can hang from a lower structure by concealing the wire behind.

The great thing about choosing versatile decor is that they can be transformed to give your room a variety of personalities. It’s an economical option whether you want to be on-trend or stick to classic looks. If you’re not sure where to shop, Tiffani’s Home Decor has some of the cutest and most affordable pieces that will brighten up your room.

It is surprising to know that with these easy and quick additions can create significant changes not just in your decor, but the overall ambiance of your beloved room. What are you waiting for? Head out and make those little changes for your bedroom!

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A 20-year marriage is worth celebrating. You’ve been through many highs and lows together. Through it all, you still have plenty of love, but you may feel like you lost a little (or a lot) of the sizzle between you. It’s still possible to spice up your marriage no matter how long you’ve been together or how long things have been bland. Spicing things up often comes down to stepping outside your comfort zone and normal routines to make things exciting and new.

Shake Up Date Night at Home

Never stop dating your husband. It’s advice you hear frequently, but it’s not always easy to squeeze in date nights even when your kids get older. Make time together at home without the distractions like the TV, your cellphones or bills. Plus, a date at home means you’re close to the bedroom when things start heating up.

You sit down at the dinner table every night, so switch it up by dining somewhere else. Spread a blanket in the backyard or on the living room floor for a picnic at home. Set up a candlelit dinner on your balcony to enjoy fresh air and your partner’s company. Give yourself a break by hiring a caterer or personal chef to whip up a gourmet meal while you watch from your kitchen table, which can now double as a chef’s table. This option gives you more time to slip into something sexy and perfect your look. Plus, you can save your energy for after-dinner activities.

A date night at home is also the perfect time to reminisce. Pull out old family videos, and relive the moments from early in your marriage. Cuddle up under a blanket to watch the movie you went to on your first date. These simple activities take you back to your newlywed days and may help bring back the passion you felt back then.

Try New Things

You quickly fall into a rhythm as a married couple. After 20 years together, it’s safe to say you have your routines and roles. But that “same thing, different day” mentality keeps you stuck in a rut and makes it tough to get excited about anything.

Commit to trying new things all the time. It doesn’t have to be a big, long-term thing like planning a trip to Europe, although there’s nothing wrong with that, either. Even little things like going to a restaurant you wouldn’t normally choose or visiting a local attraction that you’ve never seen can shake things up. Things that make you laugh or have fun often make for the best time. Look for interactive experiences like dance lessons or cooking class that immerse you in the activity. Make a bucket list of new things you want to do together, and cross items off as you go to inspire yourselves to keep things fresh.

Doing something new can also extend to your conversations. Repeating the same conversations about school drop-off frustrations, work complaints, bills and upcoming family schedules does nothing to create excitement. Designate a time to go over the essentials like financials and schedules, but keep everyday conversations more exciting. Talk about exciting upcoming plans like a weekend getaway or a fun adults-only night out. Share the funny parts of your day instead of just the complaints. Relive fun memories from the early days of your relationship. Not sure what to talk about? Write random questions or topics on strips of paper and keep them in a jar. When you’re in the mood to talk about something other than that annoying colleague, pull out a topic and start chatting.

Wear Something New

Being in a long-term marriage means you can truly be yourself. Through sweatpants, no make-up days and skipped showers, your spouse loves you unconditionally. But it doesn’t hurt to spice things up with some sexy new clothes occasionally. Not only does your partner get a nice surprise, but you may feel sexier and more confident in yourself, which can help heat things up in your marriage.

Dressing up and looking nice goes both ways. A man can sport a new shirt that shows off his physique or spritz on a new cologne that drives his wife wild. A fresh shave or haircut can also stir up a woman’s passion.