I was sitting with one of my friends, eating overpriced fruit and yogurt at brunch in the West Village. I was listening her go on and on about her ex boyfriend’s Instagram feed, “I saw he was liking this one girl’s photos. Maybe he’s seeing her.” She pulled out her phone to show me the history. I rolled my eyes and sipped my tea. This went of for the duration of our meal.
Later the night, a friend bequeathed to me that her ex girlfriend was still liking all of her pictures on social media and therefore, she was unable to stop checking in on her activity as well — all while assuring me she “didn’t care anymore.” Oh yeah, sure.
A few days later, another friend was sending me photos (and original commentary) of her ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend asking me if I thought her hair was a wig, “It can’t be real. Look at how orange it is. Look at that part!”
While I was hella judgmental, I realized that I do this too. Maybe I’ve been in a relationship too long to notice, but I have gone crazy stalking my exes on social media. I even blocked a few of them just to avoid the behavior.
This is no new development. Dr. Suzana E. Flores, clinical psychologist and author of Facehooked: How Facebook Affects Our Emotions, Relationships, and Our Lives, tells Bustle that 70 percent of people stalk their exes on social media. Perhaps not all of us talk to each other about it, but so many do it. How could we not? With their feeds so readily at your fingertips, how can you prevent yourself from clicking through your ex-bae’s accounts? Many of us are guilty of social media stalking someone we used to be romantically involved with, even though it is SO over. I guess the question is, why the hell do we do this ourselves?
We’re Kind Of Fascinated By Ourselves
When I think of wayward people, broken hearted and depressed AF after a breakup, I assume stalking their exes is a form of masochism. You are hurt because you had your heart mercilessly smashed into 10 zillion pieces, sending you into a spiral akin to when Cory Monteith died.
Strangely enough, you may not be able to stop social media stalking not because you’re still obsessed with your ex, but because you’re narcissistic.
This person was a huge part of your life. Even though he or she may be gone, you still want to keep tabs as a means of self-preservation, “We are fascinated with ourselves basically and our exes are parts of ourselves that we left in the past," Dr. Jennifer Freed, a family behavioral specialist, tells Bustle. "We are looking to keep our emotional tapestry intact. Looking backward is a way of digesting and metabolizing our lives and understanding our complex feelings about people we used to care for.”
Sure, the connotations of stalking someone you’re not with anymore is a little dark, but it’s actually a way to help you heal from the breakup and move on in many cases. Trust me. I’m just as surprised as you are by this news, y’all. Isn’t it nice to know we don’t have to worry about our sanity while we’re trying not to “LIKE” our ex’s post from 63 weeks ago? It’s the little things, really.
Of Course, For Some, It’s Toxic
Not everyone is in this boat. For some, it really is a spewing garbage fire of self-hatred and feelings of inadequacy, “Some people stalk their exes because they are completely not OK in their current life and are trying to fill a really big hole with emotional candy cane,” says Dr. Freed. “It may be a momentary sugar tooth thing to see what they are doing but it comes with a sugar blues afterwards.”
Meaning, stalking your ex may feel good in the moment, but it may come back and bite you in the ass. Just like all things, you have to be mindful of your actions or you could get screwed. “The basic rule of happiness is that if you have great things to do in the present you probably won’t be glued to social media," says Dr. Freed. "You will be out living a great life.”
This is a great rule to live by. If you’re obsessing over your ex on social media, you may need to re-evaluate your circumstances. Ask yourself why you’re doing this. Monitor how much you’re engaging in this behavior. Dr. Freed advises that you not to allow it to become compulsive or a habit.
This takes self-awareness. You may need to take a look in the mirror and figure your sh*t out. Sure, it may be your way of moving on from the breakup, but it’s a slippery slope. Just be sure your social media stalking isn’t a crutch for the unhappiness you feel in your own life. No amount of bringing down your ex from afar is going to make up for unhappiness with yourself.
Experts explain why you do it, and — most importantly — how to quit for good.
Breakups seriously suck — that’s just undeniable. No matter who ended things, or what the reasoning behind it was, breaking up is not easy on anyone. But perhaps, even harder than breaking up is just being able to move on. It takes time to get your ex’s name out of your head, to stop picturing their face so often, and to quit typing their name into your Instagram search bar. If you’re still keeping tabs on your ex’s Instagram activity, or wondering, why is my ex stalking my social media?, then you’re definitely not alone. As it turns out, this behavior is pretty common.
But don’t just take my word for it (even though my ex broke up with me but stalks my Instagram to this very day). "In an ideal world, you wouldn’t feel the urge to stalk your ex at all," Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast tells Elite Daily. "That said, most people will do this after a breakup." It’s hard to not stalk someone when you know how easy it is to look at their Instagram posts and stories and see what they’re up to. However, it’s experts warn against this, because it has the potential to be truly unhealthy.
"If you are having a really hard time healing, you need to stop looking altogether," Leckie adds. Checking in on your past will keep you from fully moving on to your future.
Understand Where The Temptation To Stalk Your Ex Comes From
Figuring out the source of your craving can help you master it. Usually, people stalk their ex because they "want to see if their ex is happier without them or dating someone (and comparing themselves to this person)," Anita A. Chlipala, dating and relationship expert, licensed marriage and family therapist, and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple’s Guide to Lasting Love, tells Elite Daily. "They may try to get answers to why the breakup happened. They still have feelings for their ex and maybe have hope that they will get back together. Also, the first few weeks after a breakup are particularly difficult because you have a big void. So stalking an ex on social media can help fill that void."
It’s not uncommon to stalk your ex on social media, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for you. "In most cases it means you are having a really hard time letting go and accepting that the relationship is over," Leckie says. "In other cases, it could just mean that you are curious as to what they are up to."
If You Can’t Stop Stalking Your Ex, Block Them
If you continue to check in on their social media accounts, then it’s going to be even more difficult for you to truly move on. "It can become an addiction to keep checking, which then keeps your ex top of mind all day, and that clearly isn’t healthy," says Leckie. "You won’t be able to move on fully until you stop looking, so the sooner you stop, the better."
But of course, it’s not that easy. Do guys stalk their exes on social media? Yes. Do girls check in on their former flames’ posts? Of course. Everyone does it for a reason — quitting is tough. The next time you’re tempted to stalk your ex, try going on a walk, taking a bubble bath, or seeing that new movie everyone is talking about. Try to get your mind off them if at all possible. That’s easier said than done, though, so consider using the block button.
“Block them. That’s it, full stop,” says Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask A Matchmaker. “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. Because you’re checking in on them constantly . they’re still a source of anxiety for you, which can also be addictive. Anxiety is addictive. Blocking them is the best step in the right direction.”
Although banishing your ex from your feeds can be helpful, it might also stir up fears about how your ex will react. Will they feel sad or angry? Will they judge you for cutting the digital cord? “No, not at all,” Avgitidis says. “Maybe they’ll question it for two minutes and then they’ll also move on. People really overthink this, but at the end of the day, [your ex is] living their own life. You need to move on, too.”
Focus On Healing & Moving On
Most importantly, remember that stalking your ex isn’t going to help you move on. "It really is serving you no purpose to keep looking. it’s only going to make you miss them and depressed," Leckie explains.
You deserve to move on and be happy again, so put your phone down. Hang out with your friends, go on a blind date, or learn a new hobby. Put yourself and your well-being first. If that means switching up your ex-stalking habits or blocking your ex for good, then so be it.
It might take weeks or months, but eventually, you’ll be on a beach trip with your best friends, sweating your face off at a kickboxing class, or even falling for someone new. Your phone will be across the room, out of sight and fully out of mind. The temptation to stalk your ex will have faded away completely, because being totally present in your new phase of life is all the satisfaction you need.
Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask A Matchmaker
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Stop stalking your ex, darling!
Entering a new relationship is hard, keeping the relationship strong is harder and not being in a relationship anymore is the hardest. We invest a lot of emotional and mental energy in the relationship and person. After the breakup, a lot of us find it difficult to continue life without that person and it often feels like we can’t be alone anymore.
Well, I can assure you, you lived well enough before your ex and you will still live well enough without them. However, it so happens that our mind will be in the habit of always wanting to know what our ex is up to and social media becomes an enabler to this destructive habit. So to put it bluntly, how do we stop stalking your ex on social media?
Tips and Tricks to Avoid and Stop Stalking Your Ex
Ask a Friend to Help
First of all, ask a friend to help keep you away from constantly stalking your ex on social media. Humans always work best in packs. This friend will be responsible for making sure you don’t backtrack. Having someone to keep an eye on you will trick your mind into thinking that it is still in the relationship. And then you can slowly get back into not always needing someone on your back.
On the plus side, friends always help to make us feel better, whether it is bringing us ice-cream and bad movies, or dragging us to a party or even help us to cry our hearts out.
Use Therapeutic Method
Secondly, you need to be aware of every time that you think about what the other person is doing. So, get a bunch of cards and make a mark on them every time you think about him/ her. This is a therapeutic method used by professionals to help people get out of destructive habits like biting fingernails, Chain Smoking, etc. Another more techy method is by making a note on your phone. But this can backfire if you open social media and then fall back into the cycle.
Take a Break From Social Media
This brings us to the third thing you should definitely do; take a break from social media. Blocking the ex would hurt any remaining chances of keeping the friendship, but if you don’t want a friendship with the ex, go ahead. Block him/her, delete their texts, DMs and pictures. Taking a break from social media has always been healthy. And, in this situation, it will help us get over the ex and stop stalking the ex on social media.
Busy Yourself
Lastly, you need to keep yourself busy. This can be by starting a new hobby or immersing yourself in your work. Going to the gym is a great new habit to start as it helps you get healthier and who knows, you might even meet a new person. One thing that you have to keep in mind, do not to replace your stalking habit with another harmful habit like binge-eating or over rebounding.
Opinion
It might seem impossible, now, to get over your ex, to get out of the destructive cycle of stalking the ex, and to feel better about yourself. But, I promise you, it is possible. It’s also really hard and mentally exhausting, but it is most definitely possible.
Stalking your ex hurts your emotional well being, so take the first step and help yourself. Now that you know how to help yourself, try, to take the first step. Push through the hard parts and always remember you are not alone. There will be more relationships, more heartbreaks, and more love. There is more than enough love to heal your heart, but your mind needs help.
When you are mending after a breakup, it’s natural to wonder what your ex is up to. You used to know everything about them, and suddenly you have no idea what they are doing. It’s weird. Remember that your body is essentially recovering from addiction, and even a tiny dose of your drug (your ex) will cause you to relapse. When the forceful drive comes in all too strong, demanding that you check up on their social media, you have the power to say no. Social media stalking just prolongs your mending process. As long as you are checking up on your ex, even in the smallest ways, you are preventing yourself from mending your broken heart. So how do you stop?
Assess How You Used Social Media Before
1. The first step is to assess what you used each social media for in terms of your ex. If you tagged each other in memes on Instagram and funny videos on Facebook, one option is to have a designated substitute. This will likely be a close friend who you can tag instead of your ex. This won’t be a quick fix, you might still think about your ex for a second before you tag your friend, but eventually you’ll build a new habit. When you catch yourself browsing through something that makes you think of your ex, close the tab, and check a different website or read a book.
Bonus tip: It’s unlikely you’ll run into your ex on Pinterest, so it’s a great alternative if you are looking for visual stimuli!
Limit Your Exposure
2. The second step is to realize where you had the most contact with your ex and limit your exposure to that outlet. If your ex posted a lot on Facebook, you may want to mute them. In fact, Facebook has made breaking up with someone a whole lot easier. Essentially, you can make them invisible without unfriending them: tags in photos are removed, timeline posts will not include those from your ex, and you can even hide your updates and posts from your ex’s timeline. Of course, you can unfriend them too, that’s up to you! If you can’t help but view your ex’s stories on Instagram, it’s time to unfollow them. If you constantly check to see if your ex viewed your Snapchat story, it’s time to delete them. Deleting, unfriending, and unfollowing are cathartic ways of choosing self care over disappointment and anxiety.
Understand Your Triggers
3. The third step is to understand your triggers. Every time you get the urge to check your ex’s social media, ask yourself what just happened that made you want to do that? This will be easiest to do if you don’t check often. For me specifically, I know I get curious about my ex every time I anticipate having a conversation with a friend about the breakup. I will think about what I want to say beforehand, but this just leads to a downward spiral where I ultimately lose all my self-control and stalk every social media outlet. Thus, I have stopped thinking about what I want to say when I catch up with old friends, and instead, I let the topic of the breakup come up naturally, if at all.
Define A Replacement Activity
4. The fourth step is an important one: have a replacement activity! If you live in a perpetual state of wanting to check up on your ex, we’re not judging. Breaking an old habit requires a new one. Maybe you’re the opposite, maybe you never check up on your ex. I used to be that way, and my most important piece of advice would be: don’t start! If you ever get the urge to see what they are up to, nip it in the bud. The only way to do this is with a whole lot of self-control and a replacement activity. This replacement needs to become your default. As soon as you want to type their name into Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, close the app and go straight to Mend for your daily training or visit Do This Instead. Make it an instant reaction. Don’t think about it, just do it. Otherwise, you’ll end up typing in their name and getting lost in their tags from 2014. Don’t do it.
Do A Digital Detox
5. If you still find yourself checking up on your ex, step five is to do a digital detox. Block their number, unfriend, and unfollow on everything, delete all texts, and give yourself an incentive to maintain your no stalking streak.
Get Support
6. If you’ve unfollowed and unfriended your ex, you might still be checking up on them if they are public on everything. It may be time to take your digital detox up a notch. Uninstall social media from your phone and block these websites online using the SelfControl Mac app or Chrome plug-in. This is an extreme measure, but it is one that will reap so many benefits. Not only will it help you to move on, you’ll also feel more present by disconnecting from your social media entirely. Let it be a good thing, because it is!
Bonus tip: With the SelfControl app for Macs and Google Chrome, you can block your ex’s Facebook URL, Twitter URL, and Instagram URL without blocking those websites entirely. And it’s completely free!
We know breaking up with your ex’s social media is very hard. In some ways, it feels like you are losing the very last thing that kept the two of you connected. That’s all the more reason why it needs to be done. This facade of a connection keeps you stuck and prevents you from really moving forward with your life. Once you stop checking to see if they viewed your story or liked any new tweets, you will feel that last tie come loose, and it will set you free to focus on what really matters here: you.
This is the difference between breakups now and breakups before social media. Back then, you'd spend a few weeks wallowing, slowly forgetting your formerly beloved's face and assuming he or she was probably sobbing somewhere or, even better, dead. Then you'd meet a handsome book editor over the cheese chest at Whole Foods and be married and off to Connecticut before you could figure out how to spell bourgeoisie. But now? You spend months looking at pictures of your formerly beloved's smiling face while he frolics around Montauk, gets an ice cream with someone called @mauralicious, and doesn't appear to cry at all, but in fact looks healthier and happier than ever before thanks to a generous helping of the Walden filter. Then you meet a social-media manager named Ace on Tinder and spend the next three weeks following him to events sponsored by liquor companies, before deciding to move back home to Seattle.
I mean, everyone's experience is slightly different—maybe the Tinder guy's name was Brent, maybe your ex is lactose intolerant—but the principle remains: Social media has made breaking up (and staying together) that much harder to do, which is exactly why Kim Stolz (you know her from* America's Next Top Model* and MTV) wrote a book about it, Unfriending My Ex and Other Things I'll Never Do (Scribner).
"The idea for the book came from a breakup I had that probably wouldn't have happened so quickly or so brutally if not for social media," says Stolz, whose interactions with an ex that went from innocent Facebook status likes to drunken Gchatting led to the end of the relationship she was in at the time. "I didn't even really feel that emotionally connected to her anymore, but when we're bombarded by their updates, and their friends, and every single thing in their life every time we pick up the phone, it's really hard to get over people." There's also the problem that social media erases all the unattractive things about people—the insecurity, the way they slept with their mouth gaping open in a silent, never-ending scream—and only shows them in their best light, from their best angle, and at the best gallery in Chelsea.
Having all that information at your fingertips can lead some people to engage in social-media stalking, which is not only a pointless time suck, but can also make you look like a crazy person, as Stolz learned the hard way. Once, while she was trying to look at her ex's Facebook profile, Stolz accidentally typed her name into the status bar instead of the search area. "I was doing at it under the table because I was at dinner with people, so I couldn't really tell what I was doing, but 20 minutes later my phone started ringing off the hook. That's when I realized that my Facebook status said, Kim Stolz is [my ex's name.]'"
Moriah
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Stalking your ex on social media is not something that happens intentionally.
Deep down you know that looking at his page is going to cause 1 of 3 emotions: sadness, anger, or jealousy. But you still do it anyway.
And this is because you aren’t aware of the thoughts that are floating around your head.
This even applies when we open up our favorite social media app multiple times a day.
We have a thought like “I wonder what’s going on on Instagram”. And that causes us to open the app, and sometimes scroll for way too long (guilty).
But I want you to know that there’s a whole different set of thoughts that trigger you to stalk your ex on social media.
And once you can identify those thoughts, moving on will be a lot easier.
Because when you’re constantly looking at someone who is no longer in your life, you just start to crave them more and more.
And craving something or someone you can’t have leads to you feeling disempowered and hopeless.
But the good news is you can put a stop to this.
In this post, I will give you mindset tips to help you stop stalking your ex on social media.
“He Can’t Do Better Than Me”
The first thought that keeps you stalking your ex on social media is “he can’t do better than me”.
This thought keeps you in an anxious state because you are in comparison mode.
This is also a time-consuming thought to have. Because you’ll want to confirm that he can’t do better than you by checking his social media page constantly.
You will be reading every comment, and checking other girls’ pages to see what their association to your ex is.
You will try to keep up with who he’s interacting with and in the process, you will tire yourself out.
So my suggestion is that you get rid of the thought “he can’t do better than me” before you find something that really hurts your feelings.
When you think “he can’t do better than me” you will feel a sense of arrogance.
And arrogance after a breakup is what will have you stalking and saying mean things about the new woman he dates.
This is totally not worth it, and it’s not going to help you heal.
So consider changing “he can’t do better than me” to “he will never find another me, and that’s okay”.
This thought comes from a place of confidence, rather than arrogance.
Instead of implying that you’re better than the new person he’ll date, this thought implies that you are just different than her.
And that’s actually the truth.
We are all unique individuals. No one has your unique set of abilities, features, and talents. Therefore, your ex won’t find another you.
And that’s his choice.
Once you come to realize that you can’t be compared to, then who your ex is dating becomes irrelevant.
“Does He Still Think About Me”
The next thought that keeps you stalking your ex on social media is “does he still think about me”.
This thought is innocent in nature.
However, it can also get you really hurt when you entertain it.
When you have the thought “does he still think about me”, that makes you a little obsessive.
When this thought is constantly playing in the back of your head, you will watch every story he posts, read every caption, and every status update.
You will become obsessed with what your ex is thinking and therefore, you might even assume he’s talking about you when he’s really not.
When you wonder if he’s still thinking about you, you feel curious.
And that curiosity keeps you on his page, making up stories in your head about who or what he could be talking about.
For a while, everything might look fine, but one day you might see a quote that makes you feel as if he shaded you.
And that is when you’ll spin out in anger and start throwing shade at him online.
This is a rabbit hole you don’t want to go down though.
So I recommend changing “does he still think about me” to “I don’t care what he thinks about me”.
The latter thought puts you in a place of indifference, which is a great place to be after heartbreak.
Trust that your ex is out of your life for a reason.
When you stop caring what your ex thinks you will be in a neutral place and from this feeling you can then start to do the work to heal from heartbreak.
The healing process can only start when you decide to stop checking for your ex.
“I miss him”
The last thought that keeps you stalking your ex on social media is “I miss him”.
Missing someone is something we typically describe as a feeling but I think missing someone is just a thought.
Because when we miss someone, we start to feel a certain way, and then we act on that feeling.
In the case of your ex’s social media you start thinking “I miss him”, then you feel sad, and as a result, you go to his social media page which keeps you from healing.
When you miss your ex you want to know what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with.
You want to be in the know about everything regarding his life, but the problem is you aren’t his girl anymore.
So staying up to date on his life isn’t serving you. All it’s doing is keeping you from moving on with your life.
So in order to start minding your own business again, you have to change “I miss him” to “I’ll be okay without him”.
When you shift to the latter thought, the urge to check his page suddenly loses its power.
When you believe you’ll be okay without your ex, you feel strong. And when you feel strong, you’re able to do the hard things, like blocking him on social media or blocking his phone number.
When you believe that you’ll be okay without your ex, doing the hard things in the healing process becomes a lot less complicated.
So the next time you find yourself missing your ex, remind yourself that you don’t have to.
Instead of missing your ex, you can just choose to live without your ex.
Conclusion
Stalking your ex on social media is something that happens because of your thoughts about him, and what he’s doing.
You stalk your ex on social media from a place of sadness, curiosity, and arrogance.
When you stalk your ex on social media, it’s because you have one of these three thoughts:
1)He can’t do better than me
2)Does he still think about me
But the good news is, you can change these thoughts to support you distancing yourself from your ex.
When you are feeling confident, indifferent, and strong, moving on becomes easier.
If you’re ready to get started with the healing process, I’d love to be your coach. Click here to learn about how to work with me.
If you’re reading this, then you probably can’t help but look at your ex’s social media at least once a day, and that’s bad. One day, they are going to post a pic with a new significant other, and it’s going to hurt you and make you feel even worse. If you want to stop stalking them permanently, here is what you do.
1.) Block every social media account they have. Some people have their ex on social media because they believe their ex will see them living their best life and come crawling back. Wrong. They dumped you, and it’s time to block them on everything.
2.) Take a break from social media for at least a month, and I mean no social media period. Take a month to learn about yourself, read a book, or get to the gym and get in shape, or just take a walk. You’re going to have extra HOURS PER DAY but not using social media anymore. Think of what you can get done with that time.
3.) MOST IMPORTANT BY FAR. In AA, they teach you a strategy that helps a lot of alcoholics stay away from drinking. The idea of never drinking again is hard for most people to accept, so they take it day by day. Each day they tell themselves “I cannot drink today” and in your case it’s “I cannot check their social media today” OR “I cannot contact them today”
That’s it. Take it one day at a time, and before you know it, a full day will pass without the urge to check. I could do it, and you can to.
To our own detriment, we’ve all stalked our exes from time to time. It’s fine to be curious about his life occasionally because you were a big part of it for a while, but checking up on him becomes problematic if it’s making you feel bad or you can’t seem to stop yourself form doing it. If you need help breaking your Internet creeping habit, here are 10 ways to stop yourself from stalking your ex online:
Delete, Delete, Delete.
Delete EVERYTHING. His number, texts, emails, unfriend him, unfollow him, and erase all his messages everywhere. You don’t want to either be tempted to check up on him, or accidentally be reminded of him when you’re innocently scrolling through social media. It’s going to be a lot harder to avoid his pages when he’s popping up on your newsfeeds everywhere!
Ask your friends for tough love.
Ask them to let you know when you’re being obsessive. If you’ve deleted him from all your social media platforms, tell your friends that they’re not allowed to fill you in on his activities or let you use their accounts. You might need some tough love from them right now, but you’ll be thankful for it when you’re done healing from the break up.
Start a “stalk jar”.
It works like a swear jar, except you drop a $10 bill in it every time you check up on your ex online. It might not actually stop you from doing it, but it will help you save up for an epic night out, where you’re sure to forget about the break up for a few hours.
Keep busy.
Bury yourself in work, surround yourself with friends, hit the gym, or get all the hobbies. You’ll be too busy to think about your ex too much, and you’ll accomplish things that will make you feel really good about yourself.
Stalk a celebrity instead.
If you can’t tear yourself away from social media, try stalking someone who’s more interesting, anyway. Celebrities are always doing neurotic, self-absorbed stuff that won’t make you feel crummy when you look at it, plus they essentially make a living off of being creeped on. It’s a win/win for everyone.
Find a replacement habit.
Have you ever heard that you can’t quit smoking without replacing it with a different habit, like knitting or lifting weights? That logic applies to all bad habits. Pick a replacement that will work for you, and run to it every time you feel a craving to stalk your ex online.
Get back in the dating game.
Rebound time! You won’t obsess over your ex if another guy is physically in front of you. You don’t have to go out and bang the next guy you see, but getting comfortable with dating and the idea of being with someone else will not only help you get over your ex, but also keep you busy in the meantime. And who knows, you might actually have a little fun as well.
Remember how you felt the last time you crept on his pages.
You felt pretty crappy, didn’t you? Don’t keep torturing yourself because it’s going to make you feel bad every time. Even if he’s heartbroken and miserable, he’s not going to post pictures of himself crying on his kitchen floor on Facebook. It’s only going to be pics of going out with the guys as if nothing happened, hanging with new women, and getting in the best shape of his life. There’s literally no chance that stalking him will bring you any joy.
Block his pages if you have to.
You might need a little help from Google (or a techy friend if you’re lucky enough to have one) but you can block his pages from your computer if your stalking has gotten that out of hand. Think of it as you parentally controlling yourself, because sometimes we all need a few boundaries.
When all else fails, take a break from social media.
You can take a time out from social media and beat this bad habit, cold turkey. With a little space, you’ll be able to process the break up and get back to using social media responsibly, with no stalking.
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The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…
Nothing is more tempting than stalking your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend on social media platforms. People soon after their break up become full time stalker on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and many other social media websites. With the help of this blog, let me help you to stop stalking your ex and to start living a life you deserve.
How to Stop Stalking Your Ex on Social Media?
Before going to reveal the ways of how to stop stalking your ex, just think at-least once that what are you actually getting from all this stalking process. You need to understand that your ex losing 10 Twitter followers this week and gaining 8 is not something important for you anymore. Therefore, stop hurting yourself for someone who might have celebrated break up party after your departure.
Immediately block your ex from all social media sites:
The first step to do after your break up is to block your ex from every social media website like Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. No doubt, it is the most extreme way of stopping yourself from stalking but it is also the effective one. Easiest way of moving on is to cut off all the communication sources including calls, text, and email via social media.
Limit your social media contacts with mutual friends:
The second basic step to follow is to limit contact with mutual friends. You understand that world is in highly populated stage so you can find many other friends. So better engage with friends who aren’t in your mutual social circles.It’s the best way to avoid the question of “How Your Ex is upto these days?”
“Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind” Is A Real Thing to Understand:
Don’t live in a denial state and accept the fact that nothing stays permanent in this world. To follow the formula of out of sight, out of mind “Blocking” is the best option for you.
Remove all the memories from your social media accounts:
Get rid of all the things which make you think about your ex. Do not keep their messages in your inbox. Better to delete all the picture and video which they have shared with you. This will help you to refresh all they good and bad time you have spent with your ex.
Set your “Me” Time and understand that life goes on:
Fill up your time with the stuff that makes you feel good. Go out with your family and friend do whatever you like. Get involved in activities like sports, art, music, reading, dancing, cooking etc and not just partying, smoking or drinking.
Follow all the above mentioned steps and let us know how much these steps have contributed in saying “Bye Forever” to your ex-partner.
