Hi this is my first post . My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in February 2020 and at first it was quite mild. It’s been almost four years now and I just don’t recognise her anymore. She has turned into a vile, hurtful, ungrateful witch. I do everything for her, I even gave up my job to look after her full time ( I also live with her) as she can’t do anything for herself as in cooking cleaning etc. she’s incontinent of urine and wears pads , I dress her, bathe her , look after her needs etc.
there is nothing left to recognise of my mothers original personality, she would be horrified if she new how she was behaving but obviously she has no idea. I’m starting to hate her which is terrible I know but she’s constantly telling me to **** off or worse. She looks at me with venom in her eyes. She throws cups of coffee at the tv if she doesn’t like the program and today I took her out to the seaside as it’s been constantly raining for three weeks straight. She swore at strangers , she almost hit a lady with her bag just for walking near us.
Everyone says I’m great for looking after her and taking her out but I’m beginning to think that it’s a waste of time as she’s not enjoying it so I may as well just sit in the house all the time with her.
Sorry for the big rant as I just wanted to offload . Everyday I feel like crying 😢 but I won’t give in because I know once I start crying I don’t think I will stop. I get help twice a week and she does go to respite when I need a break but I just don’t know how long I can go on being bullied by her.
I’m starting to feel guilty for hating her .